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Monday, May 09, 2005

How the Magic Happens

This is my 111th post for the ISB, and to celebrate my near-anniversary, I thought it might be fun to rip off Homestar Runner and go behind the scenes to show you the process of how the ISB is created. A series of ones and zeroes? Ha-ha, no! Fairy-dust and unicorns? What are you, a little girl? Read on, and experience the process!

Essentially, what happens is that I go to work and wait for Tug, Scott, or MG3 to say something funny. Then, I come home and transcribe it. Of course, those guys can't always be relied upon, and I'm left to my own devices.

That's where the hard work comes in. If nothing unusual happens--like, say, someone coming in and explaining how X-Men 2 was a direct ripoff of their fanfiction they published on Prodigy 12 years ago--I end up staring at a blank text box trying to come up with an idea.

Eventually, I'll settle on something like The Five Most Awesome Hats in Comics, and pull myself away from internet pornography (like NeverDoneThatBefore.com, which has the best and most vaguely sinister title of any porn site I've ever seen) long enough to bang out seven hundred words on the subject.

A whole new style!This usually starts with me firing up the Google search engine and doing a few searches. Unfortunately, "hats+awesome comics" doesn't provide much except for--oddly enough--a picture of President Bush, so I've got to refine the search.

Classic!If that doesn't pan out within the first couple of pages, I'll generally give up and play Bejeweled for half an hour, muttering about my self-imposed daily update schedule. Then it's off to the Grand Comics Database for cover scans.

Protect ya neck!If I want to do anything semi-tricky with the HTML that I don't know how to do (like the nifty mouseovers you've seen recently), I'll shoot an email to Scott and demand he render web services unto me free of charge. We'll go back and forth like that for a while, with him going "Why don't you try some Javascript?" and me going: "It's not working! Fix it!" until everything has the high-quality sheen you've come to expect from the ISB brand.

WASSSS ONCE A MAN!!!Once the groundwork is laid, it's time to actually take a crack at the comedy. This pretty much involves me staring into space until I think of enough jokes about the Punisher to fill up a respectable amount of column-inches. This is where a lesser writer might also engage in "proofreading," "editing," or "trying not to suck," but I feel such things are beneath me. It's a quick once-over to make sure none of the links are broken, and then it's sent via secure Satellite uplink to Blogger HQ, located inside a volcano shaped like Google founder Larry Page's head, where it gets the A-Okay from a mysterious man in an egg-shaped chair. Then it's available for perusal and commentary from my legion of loyal readers, now over eight strong!

Holy Crap, it's an eyeball!Of course, by that point it's well past midnight, and I'm only just then realizing that this idea isn't nearly as funny as it was Saturday when I made the note on my tape recorder.

Oh well.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

One has to wonder if the ISB isn't like sausage & laws?

5/10/2005 6:45 PM

Blogger Chris Sims said...

Et tu, Felecia?


5/10/2005 9:45 PM

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