Sunday, March 26, 2006

Battlefield Action in the Mighty ISB Manner!

Longtime ISB readers will no doubt be familiar with my deep and abiding love of Sgt. Rock, but while I was surfing Wikipedia today in an effort to find out exactly how Blackhawk is supposed to work, I found something that makes me love him even more.

To the left, you'll see a Joe Kubert Sgt. Rock cover showing everybody's favorite bare-chested war hero as he's usually depicted, about four seconds away from dropping a serious beatdown on some lousy Ratzis. What's important, though, are those two ammo belts slung over his shoulders that give the Sarge his signature appearance.

Now I'm going to go ahead and assume that the majority of you don't have stacks of Soldier of Fortune laying around, but ever since that run of Punisher Armory, I find this stuff oddly fascinating, so bear with me while I go through it. Rock's usually shown carrying a .45 Thompson submachine gun and a .45 Colt M1911 pistol, but the ammo belts are full of .50 calibre rounds. Even Easy's heavy machine gun, a .30 cal Browning usually packed by Designated Big Lug and puppy enthusisast Bulldozer, wouldn't take that kind of ammo, which renders it pretty useless.

The official reason for the ammo belts is that they're Rock's lucky charms--which is pretty tough in and of itself, considering that most people get their luck from a rabbit's foot and not two hundred massive bullets--but we all know that those ammo belts have a very definite and ridiculously, mind-blowingly awesome purpose:

WHEN A GUN IS NOT AVAILABLE, HE BEATS NAZIS TO DEATH WITH THEM.


That is why Sgt. Rock is the baddest motherfucker in the history of comics, and also why you are now freaking out.
at

13 comments:

  1. Ragnell3/27/2006 12:43 AM

    We need to see Nazis get beaten up more often in comics.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous3/27/2006 1:08 AM

    You had to bring up the puppy. Thank God it's only three issues into the mini, and there should be some major Nazi ass-kicking in the next issue.

    I totally agree with Ragnell: we need more Nazi beatdowns. Mr. Terrific's fight against the KKK in JSA was close, but I still demand Atom Smasher vs. Captain Nazi.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Steven3/27/2006 2:34 AM

    Atom Smasher?

    I mean, I get it, but the one I want to see crunch Captain Nazi is Ragman. He's Jewish, and Polish, and he's like a mini-Spectre, so that would be a beat-down coming three ways.

    Heck, it could only be better if, instead of rags, his costume was ammo belts he used to beat up Nazis before absorbing them into his clips.

    Which he then used to beat up more Nazi's.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Brett3/27/2006 8:05 AM

    I give Rock his props and beating up Nazis is always good in my book, but I once saw Mark Trail down an airplane with a stick. Mark Trail would whip the Nazis and open an nature preserve at the same time. He is a hard man.

    ReplyDelete
  5. joncormier3/27/2006 10:33 AM

    Damn, Sgt. Rock is serioiusly the Butchest of all men. It could be snowing and he'd be topless or at least have his shirt open. And the bandelleros - dang! Who else goes into war with an extra sixty pounds of ammo you can't shoot.

    I AM freaking out.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Marc Burkhardt3/27/2006 11:31 AM

    Yeah Rock! Beat those puppy killers senseless!!!

    As if stabbing a guy in the neck with a piece of wood isn't badass enough...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous3/27/2006 6:29 PM

    When Sgt. Rock was a kid, he used to beat the crap out of young Nick Fury with a bike chain after school every day. By the way, he already dressed like that when he was a kid.

    ReplyDelete
  8. CalvinPitt3/27/2006 7:47 PM

    That's why Nick Fury lost that eye. He figured Sgt. Rock wouldn't beat a one-eyed guy senseless with ammo belts.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Steven Hardina3/28/2006 12:16 AM

    He was wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous2/22/2007 4:03 PM

    Bless my love of WW II-inspired comics. Bought this when it came out and just unearthed it a few weeks ago (along with some GI Combat, more Rocks, Weird War, etc...).

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ronald11/23/2011 12:16 PM

    It won't succeed as a matter of fact, that's exactly what I think.
    Easter dinner menu | colleges in NY | pc card

    ReplyDelete
  12. adam clean8/07/2020 10:11 AM

    خدمات منزلية تقدمها افضل شركة تنظيف خزانات بالرياض باحترافية عالية غير مسبوقة بين شركات الخدمات المنزلية في الرياض

    ReplyDelete
  13. adam clean8/07/2020 10:12 AM

    شركات جده التي تقدم خدمات نقل عفش مع الفك والتركيب تلك هي افضل شركة نقل عفش بجدة تمتلك امكانيات كبيرة لأعمال نقل العفش في مدينة جدة وما جاورها من مناطق تابعة لها وقد نضطر قبل نقل العفش الى نظافة المنزل الجديد قبل النقل من الداخل ومن الخارج وذلك بالتواصل مع افضل شركة تنظيف منازل بجدة متخصصة بأعمال التنظيف للمنازل الجديدة والمنازل المفروشة مثل افضل شركات تنظيف موكيت بجدة تقدم امكانيات غسيل الموكيت والكنب في الموقع لكي يتم تعقيم المنزل ومن الأفضل ان تقوم بعمل مكافحة للحشرات بواسطة افضل شركة مكافحة حشرات بجدة التي تتعامل في رش المبيدات وتستخدم مبيدات آمنة ومضمونة ونحتاج ايضا الى تنظيف الخزان وذلك بالتعرف على افضل شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة تقدم افضل الخدمات الجيدة في تنظيف وتعقيم الخزانات لكي تحافظ على الماء نظيفا ومعقما اطول فترة زمنية ممكنة لكي تكون مياهك نظيفة فان افضل شركة تنظيف منازل المضمونة ومستعدة لاستقبال مكالمتكم في أي وقت وطلب الخدمة من شركات تنظيف الخزانات بجدة المضمونة والتي تقدم خدمات باحترافية

    ReplyDelete