Christmas Special: The Reader's Digest Version
I tend to write my posts late at night, so by the time you guys read this, there will be only twelve days until Christmas! So to celebrate tonight, in lieu of a partridge in a pear tree, I offer you...
Yes, written by Larry "I Created GI Joe So You Bitches Can Suck It" Hama with art by Pasqual Ferry, this one's pretty much notable for two things, and two things only:
- Howard the Duck teams up with a group of Mall Santas and fights HYDRA at the north pole.
- It is not very good.
No, seriously. That's all there is.
When you work in a comic book store, a good 75% of the job is just finding ways to kill time while you wait for the end of the day to roll around. After all, bagging up back issues of ROM: Spaceknight and putting them in order isn't exactly the most mentally demanding task, so it's necessary to keep yourself occupied, and you can only go through about three rounds of 20 Questions before it stops being fun.
And that's how we ended up knocking out a good chunk of the evening after Phil stopped by on a little game I like to call Hollywood Pitch Meeting.
The Premise: You're in a Hollywood Pitch Meeting, trying to get the suits to give you a pile of money so that you can bring your cinematic vision to life!
The Hook: In a tribute to the single greatest Christmas-themed American action movie ever made, your pitch must start with the phrase: "It's like Die Hard..."
"Okay, it's like Die Hard meets Ella Enchanted, but with a gang of European terrorists instead of an evil Fairy Godmother. I'm thinking we get a whole P.T. Anderson meets McG thing going on here."
"It's like Die Hard on a trampoline."
Feel free to leave your own in the comments section of this very post! I think we can make this happen.