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Monday, May 08, 2006

Infinite Crisis in Thirty Seconds

Just in case you missed get your chance to jump on DC's recently-completed Infinite Crisis mini-series, allow me to do you a solid and get you all caught up on the most shocking DC event in years.

I will of course be doing this in crayon.


Click For Larger Versions








THE END...?


Believe it or not, I have had no professional training.




BONUS FEATURE: Power Girl Is Confused!


"Wait, how does my origin work again?"


Inspired more than a little by Rich Burlew's The Order of the Stick.

40 Comments:

Blogger Brett said...

Great sum up, but you left out the part about how all the brutal murders are going to make everything brighter.

5/09/2006 1:59 AM

 
Blogger Opinion Dalek said...

So when are you starting the on-going strip "Invincible Crisis"?

5/09/2006 2:56 AM

 
Anonymous Jeffrey said...

I'm genuinely impressed at how expressive Power Girl is.

5/09/2006 7:12 AM

 
Anonymous Dave Lartigue said...

I'm prepared for "Also: Hawkman!" to become the running joke hit sensation of 2006, or at least May of 2006.

5/09/2006 9:01 AM

 
Blogger joncormier said...

This is now my first choice for best comic of 2006.

5/09/2006 9:19 AM

 
Blogger The Fortress Keeper said...

To be honest, it's better drawn than the "Battle of Metropolis" portion of Infinite Crisis #7!

5/09/2006 2:02 PM

 
Anonymous JIM said...

Wow.

I am now freaking towards outside!

5/09/2006 2:26 PM

 
Blogger Winterteeth said...

Ok, so its not just me wondering why in the bloody blue hell the heroes had to go to outer space? They didn't do anything except die (sorta). They didn't prevent Luthor from making new worlds. They didn't really do anything to stop the Rann-Thanagar War that a grizzled prospector couldn't (Space Prospector 2099 is trademark winterteeth industries, 2006). That was probably the most non-sensical aspect for me and the area in which I felt the most time and money were wasted (by me) in trying to keep up with it. Thank you, Chris...for keeping it real.

5/09/2006 2:37 PM

 
Anonymous Jer said...

This is a thing of beauty, sir. I weep tears of joy that such a thing of beauty can exist. The smile on Batman's face, the look of utter boredom on Starfire's, the "Rolling Head of Pantha"... it is wonderful.

Quick, don't let Superboy punch anything! He may cause this loving tribute to disappear in a flash of continuity!

Also: Hawkman!

5/09/2006 4:30 PM

 
Blogger Earth-2 Leigh said...

Is it too soon to crown this the greatest blog entry of all time?

It's sort of like how reading the hilarious TWoP recaps makes watching horrible shows seem worthwhile.

Though I was kind of hoping to see an adorable rendering of Black Adam poking the Psycho Pirate's brains out. (Stupid Psycho Pirate -- didn't anyone ever teach him to put his hand between his eyes when someone does that?)

5/09/2006 4:41 PM

 
Blogger Jim said...

Bah haha hah haha hahah ha ha ha!

That was fantastic.

5/09/2006 6:14 PM

 
Anonymous Cove West said...

You forgot Lil' Gun-Wielding Batman and Lil' Wonder Woman's Breakable Unbreakable Sword. And for completeness, you must have Lil' Dr. Light's lil' holographic replay of lil' dr. light attacking Lil' Terrorized'n'Agony Sue Dibny.

And despite the crayon, that Superman vs. Superboy image is awesome.

5/09/2006 6:50 PM

 
Anonymous SpaceBooger said...

wow... I am Infinitely Impressed
we need a calendar of this to remind us of the current state of the DCU.
I cant wait for the OYL 30 second summary

5/09/2006 8:16 PM

 
Blogger Chris Sims said...

"I'm genuinely impressed at how expressive Power Girl is."

The "Confused Face" is one of the tropes I completely stole from Rich Burlew. Still, I think it turned out pretty well.

5/10/2006 12:57 AM

 
Anonymous SpiritGlyph said...

Hey, Rich Burlew has turned stick figures into an art form. If you're going to borrow, borrow from the best.

Oh, and that was awesome. Eat it, Byrne indeed.

5/10/2006 2:18 AM

 
Blogger ryansenseless said...

that truly says it all. thanks for clearing everything for me.

5/10/2006 4:59 PM

 
Anonymous carla said...

Ingenious!
And kudos for being an OotS fan. I swear I saw the hands in the 'Meanwhile, in Space' panel and though there was a greach in my webcomics. =)

5/10/2006 9:22 PM

 
Anonymous Barry said...

That. Was. Hilarious. Better than the actual comic in so many ways.

5/10/2006 11:05 PM

 
Blogger Kitty said...

Ha! Best Cliff Notes version ever!

"Outer spaaaace!" is going to be my catchphrase of the day!

5/11/2006 9:50 AM

 
Blogger Canton said...

Beautiful.

Hope I'm not the only one looking forward to "Civil War in Thirty Seconds," now.

5/11/2006 12:43 PM

 
Blogger Thom said...

A panel showing schoolyard bully boy sitting on the chest of a 90-year-old man and beating him to death would have been a nice way of showing what it means to be a hero in the re-vitalized DCU.

Also, Power Girl should not only be confused about her origin but also about her gender. So much testosterone, but such big breasts!

5/11/2006 2:53 PM

 
Blogger gerryalexander said...

Thanks Chris.

I do have a couple of questions as I must have missed something - How does this segue into Captain America being on the run from the Authority, and in the light of the changes to the Superboy primer, are Apollo and The Midnighter still gay?

Please enlighten me.

G

5/12/2006 2:39 AM

 
Blogger Chris Sims said...

I should really do a crayon version of that double-page spread at the end in 1024x768 desktop size.

But I won't.

Unless you give me all your money.

5/12/2006 3:01 AM

 
Blogger billso said...

BEST. POST. EVER.

5/14/2006 1:22 AM

 
Blogger Mike Haseloff said...

Ahahaha! Superb! Hilarious!

And yet, strangely accurate...!

5/16/2006 12:12 AM

 
Anonymous Brown Betty said...

Bwaahaaaha! I love Luthor's plan

1. Giant Tuning fork!
2. ?????
3. Profit!

5/17/2006 3:40 PM

 
Blogger Christopher Scott Sarno said...

Fan-freakin-tastic!

6/03/2006 12:35 PM

 
Blogger David N. Scott said...

Heh, except one other thing:

All heroes and villains gather for the greatest fight ever!

It starts!

Old Superman and normal Superman run around some!

We get bored! Er, I mean, the good guys win!

10/13/2006 10:05 PM

 
Blogger Gamberro Salvador said...

this is so ridiculous i might even go outside.
no... no, that's a lie.

10/15/2006 8:09 PM

 
Blogger SallyP said...

Why...why it all makes SENSE now!
Thanks Chris!

12/31/2006 10:27 AM

 
Anonymous Rich Thigpen said...

LOL! That was SO much better than the actual mini-series!

2/22/2007 4:55 PM

 
Anonymous Arynne said...

You...you...

*splutters helplessly for a minute before getting her breath back*

Seriously, I literally laughed until the tears came. Sir, I salute you!

2/23/2007 8:52 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Far simpler and easy to understand than 911, *oh oh* did I say that?
I mean "Civil War".

3/16/2007 1:39 AM

 
Blogger billso said...

When friends ask me about Infinite Crisis, I send them to this page. Well struck, sir!

4/15/2007 4:24 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...I actually LOVED Infinity Crisis! That is all.

3/11/2008 12:42 AM

 
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