Six-Fisted Asgardian Adventure!
There are few very few things in the world of comics that I like better than three men wearing fur and hanging out in the woods together.
And I mean that in the manliest way possible.
I am, of course, talking about The Warriors Three, seen here in one of their rare solo appearances. Or trio appearances. You know what I mean.
All you really need to know is that this issue (by Len Wein, John Buscema, and Joe Sinnot) is awesome. Just take a look at that cover: We've got Hogun the Grim rocking out death-metal style, Fandral the Dashing ready for action, and Volstagg caught in what appears to be mid-pelvic-thrust, all while mind-shatteringly monochromatic action rages in the background.
Plus, the fact that the cover refers to them as "Thor's three buddies" provides me with endless delight. "Buddies" just isn't a word you see too often on today's comics, and that alone makes it pretty exciting stuff. Especially when you add in the promise of non-stop action.
So how does it live up? Feast thine eyes, True Believer, on page one:
Not only is this a barroom brawl, but it's a barroom brawl with a man swinging from a chandelier to kick people in the face. I wasn't even aware that the seedy waterfront taverns of New York City even had chandeliers. Or, for that matter, that sailors wore red-and-white striped shirts well into the 1970s. But as it turns out, they did, and sometimes that resulted in getting kicked in the face by Norse gods speaking in faux-Shakespearean dialect.
And the entire issue is like that. It's a story of Asgard's Heroes just wandering aruond New York smashing things with blunt objects on an adventure motivated by boredom that involves two attempted suicides, a jewelry store heist, public intoxication, and a romantic marriage at swordpoint to cap the whole night off. In other words, it's exactly the kind of comic I want to read.
For those of you who haven't experienced the awesome yourself, allow me to provide the rundown.
Thor's off fighting Firelord, leaving the Warriors Three to fend for themselves in New York, so Fandral hails a cab that can apparently drive around unimpeded with a metric ton of Asgardian crammed into the back seat and drives off in search of adventure! What they find, however, is a traffic jam caused by somebody getting ready to jump off a ledge.
...it's a lady, leading Fandral to jump out of the taxi and scale the wall of her apartment building in an effort to talk her down.
Surprisingly, a man in green furs carrying a sword doesn't immediately make her jump, and she gives Fandral the sob story of how her boyfriend owes too much money to loan sharks and had to become an accomplice in the robbery of a diamond exchange. She slips, lands on Volstagg's gut, and hops into the taxi to accompany the Warriors in an effort to find her boyfriend, Arnold.
Acquiring a drunk whose major skills involve drinking and a specialized knowledge of how to operate a doorknob (yes, really), they foil the robbery handily, but Arnold's gone, headed to the waterfront to end his own life! Will they be able to find him, thus preventing the tragedy of a love gone awry?!
Well, yeah. But not before a barfight so awesome that it's described in the narration as "World War III." Now that's some punching.
Crisis is averted, the kids are married by a Justice of the Peace that Hogun the Grim holds at swordpoint, the cabbie gets a nice bag of gold coins for his troubles, Thor presumably beats Firelord with his magic hammer, and everyone lives happily ever after.
Until they die in the all-consuming fire of Ragnarok, I mean.