Crimes of Fashion: Orion the Hunter
What exactly is going on here?!
"No, I'm pretty sure it was that time I dropped acid at a zoo. Yeah, that was it."Yes, from the pages of a Bouncing Boy solo story--yes, a Bouncing Boy solo story--in Superboy #199, we have Orion the Hunter, who may actually have the most visually assaulting costume in the history of comics. Let's go down the list, shall we?
- A crew cut topped off by pigtails.
- An eyepatch.
- A barbershop-quartetesque handlebar moustache.
- What appears to be a bear-and-leopard-skin vest with shoulder-horns and golden claws.
- Giant golden animal head bling.
- A heavyweight championship belt with supply pouches.
- Zebra-skin boots.
- A bright pink machine gun.
All of which are charmingly accessorized with...
Wow.
Make no mistake, friends: The future is a grim and terrible place.
More From the ISB Fashion Files:
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| Fourth-World Fashions |
posted by Chris Sims at 2/17/2007 11:56:00 PM
26 Comments:
He looks rather like a homosexual version of Kraven the Hunter, doesn't he?
2/18/2007 12:31 AM
Well, now we know who lost the "Last guy in the room has to be Cesar Romero" contest.
2/18/2007 1:11 AM
Also, I meant to say: Kraven looks like a homosexual version of Kraven the Hunter, when you get right down to it.
2/18/2007 1:13 AM
You forgot the matching zebra wristbands.
2/18/2007 1:55 AM
Oh, okay. I get it now.
Actually, it kinda makes sense that the Legion of Super Heroes would be Marvel hell. If not a broader infernal afterlife.
Kids -- suicide solves nothing!
Neither does Legion of Super Heroes...
2/18/2007 2:04 AM
He looks like a cross between Kraven the Hunter, Nick Fury, Dum Dum Dugan and SOMETHING OUT OF MY NIGHTMARES PLEASE GOD TAKE IT AWAY!
2/18/2007 2:35 AM
Is that like some weird version of space emo or even weirder fashion, because I'll be damned if I'm letting my great-great-great-great-great-grandkids go out dressed like that!
2/18/2007 3:29 AM
There's a reason why the women of the 31st century were throwing themselves at me when I was there.
Other than the obvious, of course.
2/18/2007 6:48 AM
If we were to hear him speak I believe he would sound like the Olsen twins from "Full House."
Seriously... I think I just violated my gray matter with a pencil...
2/18/2007 7:36 AM
He'd almost look like a villain...a very poorly accessorized villain...except for the ponytails.
It's hard to intimidate your enemies when they are clutching their sides in hysterical laughter.
2/18/2007 10:13 AM
That Bouncing Boy ended up with Harem Lass, er... Duo Damsel, now makes a lot more sense when you start to consider the context.
Maybe he's a descendent of the Menagarie Man (http://www.comicbookdb.com/graphics/comic_graphics/1/124/63759_20060919232100_large.jpg)
2/18/2007 11:09 AM
This is what happens when the only book that survives the Great Catastrophe is The Adventures of Pippi Longstocking.
2/18/2007 12:11 PM
Gah!
Let's go over this ...uh...guy(?) from head to toe:
HAIR - ripped off of ASTRA of the Shi'Ar Imperial Guard.
Eyepatch & Mustache - love child of Nick Fury and DumDum Dugan.
Claw-tipped top - Stolen from FANG (again, of the Imperial Guard), who's costume was already stolen and worn by Wolverine for awhile & X-52 (or whatever the hell his daughter's name is).
Necklace - not quite the same as WHITE TIGER's, but it'll do.
EVERYTHING ELSE - looks like Kraven the Hunter's corpse has been robbed.
Spikey shoulder thingees - Banana Republic? Uber-gay man's big&tall?
Ugh!
Just... just make it go away!
~P~
P-TOR
2/18/2007 12:34 PM
I could dismiss it all w/ a "That's funnybooks for ya, kids!" if it weren't for the pigtails. The pigtails were a DELIBERATE offense.
2/18/2007 1:18 PM
You'd expect a guy who so obviously loves to accessorize to carry the theme to the bitter end with a tiger-striped eye patch. Frankly, I'm disappointed.
2/18/2007 1:29 PM
"This is Dave Cockrum.
This is Dave Cockrum on drugs.
Any questions?"
2/18/2007 2:38 PM
All things considered, that outfit is no more undignified than Kraven's, although his hair is certainly worse.
About what I'd expect from the villain in a solo Bouncing Boy adventure, really.
2/18/2007 3:38 PM
It only looks like a bright pink machine gun.
It's actually a device far more fabulous than that.
2/18/2007 4:12 PM
Actually it looks like one of the Road Reapers out of HEX!!!
2/18/2007 5:29 PM
Anyone remember when Kraven's lion vest was some kind of mind warp/flash device?
I swear, I was too young to drink when I saw that...
2/18/2007 5:40 PM
Anyone catch "Hunter's" animated debut on Legion of Super-Heroes last week? He appears as part of Mekt Ranzz's LightSpeed Vanguard. (You know where they're going with that...)
And of course, they gave him the Crocodile Hunter's accent...
2/19/2007 9:31 AM
Yeah, that pink gun isn't phallic at all.
He looks like a Marvel hero/villain/Barbie Mr. Potato Head and this is what Stan Lee came up with after a few shots of Jack Daniels.
2/19/2007 10:05 PM
I double-dog-DARE a cosplayer to wear this outfit at the next Comicon.
2/20/2007 7:38 PM
It's the three-way love child of Kraven the Hunter, Nick Fury and Dum-Dum Dugan!
3/22/2007 12:37 AM
I love the way Bouncing Boy says, "Somehow you look familiar." Was it the writer (Cary Bates?) acknowledging what he knew we were all thinking?
2/24/2010 6:17 AM
It's all erroneous the thing you are saying.
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11/23/2011 5:49 AM
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