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Monday, October 03, 2005

You Know What's Weird?

She's got it goin' onDennis the Menace's mom is pretty hot.

According to Fred Hembeck (whose site I found by way of Greg), there was a running gag in Hank Ketcham's Dennis the Menace strip where Dennis would constantly walk in on his mother in the bathtub, often bringing in friends and telling them how hot she was.

Now that's creepy.

The point, however, still stands. Alice Mitchell is pretty hot. It's a weird convention of the old Comics Page that doesn't stop with her, either. Take, for example, the cast of Blondie.

What's going on here?Dagwood Bumstead is barely recognizable as a human being. He's got those big, soul-less eyes like those weird, unwatchable Warner Brothers cartoons that pre-date Bugs Bunny and feature characters like "Bosco." And what are those things, whiskers? Antennae? He's like the freakin' Terror. No wonder he has to drown his feelings of inadequacy in comedically huge sandwiches, the guy's a morlock.

Rowr!And yet his wife is a stone-cold fox. She's even got that beauty-mark thing going on there. At the very least, she's got pupils, which is something most of the other folks in her four-panel world seem to lack.

And don't even get me started on Cookie. She makes Miss Buxley look like Mrs. Lockhorn, am I right, fellas?

I apologize. There's really no point to this whole thing, but hey, I've been out of bed maybe four hours today, and it's not every day you get to see Dennis the Menace's mom's cleavage.

Deal with it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wasn't Blondie a stripper when she met Dagwood? Or maybe she was just a "burlesque" dancer. It was something like that anyways. Anyways, there's a long history of hot babe/barely human dude couplings though the creative output of human history. You are wise for recognizing this. And it's still happening today, you don't even have to go to crazy old comics. Look at all the sitcoms right now that have a shlubby guy with a hot wife. Commercials are even worse. The "wife" character is always a total fox who is presented as some sort of normal soccer mom (probably why so many guys are developing soccer mom festishes) and the "husband" looks like a guy who'd be doing good to see the outside of his basement more than twice this decade. And yet we're supposed to buy them as a couple. Maybe we're to infer that the guy has a super great personality and also likes to get stains out of his clothes easily. Seems a lot of work expected of the audience though if they're just trying to sell me soap. I'm sure there's some sort of deviant patriarchal-based psychological manipulation at work here. Like, women see someone hot and want to be her, so buy whatever product is being shilled by the hottie and guys see someone hot and feel intimidated so prefer the "hey, if he can get that hot chick, maybe I stand a chance...if I buy that soap" approach. Or...it's a global conspiracy that's been going on ever since we accidentally figured out how to control fire. I'm sure it's probably the latter.

10/03/2005 3:48 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dagwood's hairstyle resembles the "horns" symbolically associated with cuckoldry, indicating that Blondie is unfaithful and, by extension, Dagwood is weak, unmanly, and undeserving of such a beauty.

By the way, the mom in Family Circus is pretty hot, too.

10/03/2005 7:21 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

since when did the isb become a hotbed of critical discourse?! where's the fart jokes, damnit!?


10/03/2005 9:05 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What? No shout outs for Flo Capp?

10/03/2005 9:39 PM

Blogger Chris Sims said...

This semi-intellectual discussion of my remarks about Alice Mitchell's cleavage has made me cry tears of joy.

10/04/2005 1:43 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, I think Dagwood and Wolverine all go to the same barber.

10/05/2005 11:34 PM

Blogger Unknown said...

I found this blog by searching for "dennis the menace's mom is hot". I knew there would be someone who agreed with me. I feel much less weird and creepy now. Thank you, all of you!

1/31/2008 11:51 PM

Anonymous Viagra Online Without Prescription said...

I'm fascinating with Dennis comics, specially because it's so different than the ones we usually read. Also the vocabulary utilized is not vulgar, reason for which the kids can read it without problems.
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8/30/2010 4:00 PM


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