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Saturday, June 17, 2006

Father's Day With the New Gods

This Sunday is Father's Day, the hastily put-together sequel to last month's Mother's Day, when we all take some time off to say thanks to Pop in the form of a new tie, or--if he's exceptionally lucky this year--a nice bowling ball.

This is not how it works in the world of Jack Kirby.

See, on Apokolips, fatherhood involves less child-rearing and tends to be more along the lines of trading your son for another child, who is then dropped off at the local orphanage while you go back to schemes of planetary domination that involve selling fireball rifles to street gangs.

That's why when it comes time to hash things out with your father in the Fourth World, it's a process that generally involves only two steps, neither of which involve fashionable business casual neckwear.

Step One: Get all uglied up.

Should a Motherbox be unavailable, feel free to engage the services of a fine whiskey. Also, try to make sure any planet-destroying laser bombs have been deactivated.

Step Two: FIGHT!

That's how we used to do it at my house, anyway.

BONUS FEATURE: Father's Day With the Old Gods!

Note To Self: Do not lose Dad's hammer. He will most likely decide the guy who took it would make a better son and make us fight in a fiery realm where even a god may die. So not cool, dad.


Blogger Mark Kardwell said...

Simonson's great. I remember having a conversation with an unnameable pro about how the guy is a great stylist who would be considered up there with cats like Moebius if he hadn't wasted so much time doing work-for-hire published on toilet paper.

So go out and buy ELRIC #3, in a comic shop near you, right now! It's published on decent paper!

6/18/2006 7:12 AM

Blogger Brandon Bragg said...

What would you get for the intergalactic despot who has everything?

6/18/2006 2:16 PM

Blogger Mark Kardwell said...

The new Bruce Springsteen CD.

6/18/2006 2:42 PM

Blogger googum said...

Very nice! I spent Father's Day working on the toilet, while my kids ran around like apes. Maybe if I had a Darkseid-style headwrap...

6/19/2006 10:56 AM


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