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Saturday, July 01, 2006

Lois Lane: The Warning Signs

She may have been the comic book idealization of the modern professional woman, but sometime around 1958, Lois Lane pretty much went bat-shit crazy and started doing things like hijacking time bubbles and interrupting Superboy and Lana Lang's first date while dressed like Cruella DeVille.

This is probably why I like her so much, but regardless: The unhealthy extremes she goes to as a result of her obsession are pretty well documented.

Case in point:

Allow me, if I may, to point out two things here:

1. That's hot.

2. Lois Lane, referred to here as the Daily Planet's Star Reporter, apparently has nothing better to do than track down women who are also thoroughly obsessed with Superman and invite them to join a club for the sole purpose of hanging out and talking about how awesome he is.

Unfortunately, the copy of Lois Lane #104 that I have is missing four pages, but needless to say, the Super-Sorority meeting ends with Superman on a tropical island, chained up and auctioned off to the assembled bachelorettes by the suspiciously blonde Queen of the Amazons. It's a situation that he's able to get out of thanks to the odd Amazon custom of printing laws concerning the Queen's loss of power if her crown is ever lost or destroyed right on her crown itself, although Lois does end up doing the right (read: relatively sane) thing.

Of course, when she tells Clark about it and asks if she was a fool to give up the chance to force Superman into marriage, he tells her she probably was, so there might have been a reason she was always acting so crazy.

Mixed signals, buddy. Mixed signals.

BONUS FEATURE: Dr. Edna Blaine is Totally Nerd Hot!

Perhaps the most emo of Superman's would-be seductresses is introverted scientist Dr. Edna Blaine, seen here giving Superman the allegedly impossible task of finding a new comet and naming it after her.

She is also totally hot.

Feel free to make your own "powerful telescope" joke. I'm gonna go ahead and sit this one out.


Blogger Mark W. Hale said...

Hot and apparently telepathic!

7/02/2006 11:37 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yikes--you're right! They're communicating like characters in a Garfield strip.

And does that doofy "leg-up" pose Superman's in kills me every time I see it.

7/02/2006 1:31 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll search the whole of space for a man sized rock for you!

I'm Superman, that's easy!

7/02/2006 11:24 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, um, why exactly didn't Superman spend all his free time having sex with groupies?

Actually, why DID he screw with Lois so much? Was he afraids a villain would hurt her if they married?

7/04/2006 1:55 PM

Blogger Ferrous Buller said...

Needless to say, there's a Wikipedia entry for this one, though it's pretty spartan by comparison to Chris's writeup.

7/05/2006 1:00 PM


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