I've Moved! Check out the all-new, all-different Invincible Super-Blog at www.The-ISB.com!

Friday, April 29, 2005

Don't Hurt The Midget

Today, after I rolled out of bed at around two in the afternoon, I got to experience a rare treat. I got to see the Jerry Springer Show.

I'll be honest, I was surprised to find out that it was still on. After it was briefly en vogue for a while a few years back (the heyday of ultimately disappointing Too Hot For TV specials and a pretty terrible movie), the Springer show sort of dropped off the radar for a while, and if you have, you know, a job, you might miss it entirely. And yet, there it was, just as I remembered it. Same faux-brick and rusted-pipe setting, same cheating lovers being confronted, same Steve breaking up the fights. And in the center of it, one of my heroes, Jerry Springer himself.

Bear with me on this one. You probably just know Jerry from the show, and that's fine. Nobody expects you to know anything differently. But on the off chance that you're from Southwest Ohio, you might remember him as the youngest mayor of Cincinnatti, whose career was brought to an end by a scandal involving Jerry writing a check to a prostitute. That's closer to the truth, but still off.

The check/hooker scandal actually happened before he was mayor.

Here's the short version: Jerry came to America when he was five, fleeing the Holocaust with his parents. He volunteered for Bobby Kennedy's campaign, and then turned to politics himself, running for and eventually winning a seat on the Cincinnatti City Council. He was re-elected for a second term, and THAT'S when he wrote the infamous check. He immediately resigned amidst a scandal.

But rather than end his political career, the scandal--and the way Jerry was so open and honest about it, even going so far as to crack jokes at his own expense on rock station WEBN--served to refocus him. He'd lost the support of the Democratic party, and so ran for city council without it, winning his third term, and going on to (with party support) run successfully for mayor.

That was followed by a ten-year job as a news anchor, which led in turn to his own talk show, a serious affair that tanked in the ratings, then rose from the ashes of legitimate journalism to include commercials like: "Are you a prostitute who wants to tell her story? Call us now!" It's a beautiful thing.

It's Jerry's rise as the reaction to his spectacular fall that I admire as a truly American success story. He's a guy who came back from a career ending scandal to not only help people the way he wanted to, but to be wildly popular while he did it, before ending up in a career where he basically goes: "Hey, check out these yahoos."

You can see the appeal for me.

Such was the case with today's episode, which kept me rivited, wide-eyed, to the screen. So there's this girl, right? And she thinks her brother's made the wrong choice in his love life by having a child with a married woman whom he completely supports through his house-painting business.

And yes, the brother in question is indeed a midget. Oh man, it was awesome.

It had it all. The two girls fought each other, the midget ripped his shirt off to display his wares, and it was followed up by a toothless man who had cheated on his wife twice being made--at the audience's request--to both kiss her feet and roll over like a dog. I don't feel it's necessary to say this, but he was shirtless as well, having divested himself of it while threatening to make an audience member "his bitch, like in prison." I was on the verge of tears with the happiness it brought me.

So there I am, staring at the guests, six people with four sets of teeth between them, and I ask the same question that you do when you see it: "Where the hell does he find these people?"

Later, I went to Kentucky Fried Chicken, where a girl whose nametag identified her as "Precious" screwed up my order. Oh, right, I thought. THAT'S where.

Unfortunately, I missed the Final Thought, but I did get to see the segment of the show where the guests are seated onstage like a panel, and the audience asks questions. It was during this segment that one guy got up, took the mic from Jerry, and delivered one of the best sentences I've ever heard on television:

"I don't know how to ask this, but... can I ride the midget?"

Yes, my friend. Yes, you can. And afterwards, he'll ride you in a hilarious piggy-back around the stage. All while Jerry looks upon approvingly, with me silently thinking: "He was the mayor. He was the mayor. He was the mayor."

I love this country.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was a friend of mine! I'm trying to find a video of it.

4/26/2012 1:32 PM

 
Blogger mostafashaban said...

https://forsan-dmm.com/
https://forsan-dmm.com/furniture-transfer-company-in-jeddah/
https://forsan-dmm.com/cleaning-company-in-jeddah/
https://forsan-dmm.com/pest-control-company-in-jeddah/

10/28/2017 10:34 AM

 
Blogger mostafashaban said...


https://forsan-dmm.com/company-transfer-furniture-madina-monawara/
https://forsan-dmm.com/cleaning-company-in-madinah/
https://forsan-dmm.com/pest-control-company-in-madinah/
https://forsan-dmm.com/company-air-conditioner-cleaning-in-madina/

10/28/2017 10:34 AM

 
Blogger mostafashaban said...

https://forsan-dmm.com/furniture-transport-company-in-yanbu/
https://forsan-dmm.com/pest-control-company-in-yanbu/
https://forsan-dmm.com/cleaning-company-in-yanbu/

10/28/2017 10:35 AM

 
Blogger mostafashaban said...

https://forsan-dmm.com/furniture-transfer-company-in-riyadh/
https://forsan-dmm.com/cleaning-company-in-riyadh/
https://forsan-dmm.com/pest-control-company-in-riyadh/

https://forsan-dmm.com/furniture-transfer-company-in-alahsa/
https://forsan-dmm.com/furniture-transfer-company-in-bqaiq/

10/28/2017 10:35 AM

 
Blogger rabab saad said...


Cleaning Company in Yanbu
شركة تنظيف بينبع
The summer and the high temperatures with a great laziness in the cleaning of the place causing the emergence of insects and rodents badly and the consequent spread of diseases, so the company deal with the staff of the distinctive cleaning complete place and are keen to provide them with the latest equipment and advanced technology to enable them to carry out cleaning operations In an integrated manner
https://fajr-sate3.com/cleaning-company-yanbu/


Furniture transfer company in Madinah  
شركة نقل اثاث بالمدينة المنورة
The company offers the best workers trained to the highest level of furniture to move scientifically without damage or the occurrence of any scratch is encapsulated and carried in a correct way and put it in cars special for the transfer of furniture and is characterized by dry completely from the inside does not cause any damage to furniture as well as good ventilation, Offers prices for all categories
https://fajr-sate3.com/furniture-moving-medina/


Cleaning company in Medina
شركة تنظيف بالمدينة المنورة
The company always relies on the best in providing its services to reach the highest quality and best service
https://fajr-sate3.com/cleaning-company-medina

Furniture Transport Company in Yanbu
شركة نقل اثاث بينبع
"

The company follows a set of steps organized in the process of moving furniture in order to ensure the safety of all pieces and the company is keen to provide all the modern devices used in the transfer process to ensure the quality of services provided to its customers
https://fajr-sate3.com/furniture-movers-yanbu/

6/10/2018 1:17 AM

 
Blogger الركن المكلي said...

نقل عفش بجدة
نقل عفش بجده
شركه نقل عفش بجده
شركة نقل عفش بجدة
شركات نقل العفش بجدة

شركة نقل عفش جدة الحمدانية
نقل عفش جدة الحمدانية
نقل عفش جده الحمدانيه
شركه نقل عفش جده الحمدانيه


شركة نقل عفش بجدة
شركة نقل عفش بجده
شركه نقل عفش بجده
شركة نقل عفش داخل جدة
افضل شركة نقل عفش بجدة
افضل شركه نقل عفش بجده
نقل عفش
شركة نقل جدة
ارقام نقل عفش
شركة نقل عفش
رقام نقل عفش
شركات نقل عفش
نقل العفش
شركات نقل العفش بجدة
نقل عفش جدة
نقل العفش جدة
نقل عفش جده
نقل العفش جده
نقل عفش بجدة
نقل عفش بجده
نقل العفش بجدة
نقل العفش بجده
نقل عفش بجده رخصيه
نقل عفش بجدةرخيص


نقل عفش بجدة
نقل عفش بجده
شركه نقل عفش بجده
شركة نقل عفش بجدة
شركات نقل العفش بجدة

شركة نقل عفش جدة الحمدانية
نقل عفش جدة الحمدانية
نقل عفش جده الحمدانيه
شركه نقل عفش جده الحمدانيه

2/15/2019 3:35 PM

 
Blogger wasssell said...

الدمام
الخبر
الجبيل
القطيف
الاحساء

تقدم لكم شركة موفرز لخدمات شحن ونقل وتخزين العفش بالمنطقة الشرقية خدماتها لنقل العفش بافضل الاسعار والاساليب الحديثة للمحافظة على سلامة المنقولات وبادي عمالة فنية مدربة على نقل وفك وتركيب جميع انواع العفش بالضمان شركة نقل عفش بالدمام نقل عفش بالدمام مع الفك والتغلفي والتركيب شركة نقل عفش بالجبيل شركة موفرز لنقل العفش بالجبيل وتخزينة باحدث الاساليب المتوفرة في مجال نقل العفش شركة نقل عفش بالقطيف بوجود أكثر من طريق للتغليف والتي يمكن للعميل الاختيار من بينهم الطريقة التي يفضلها شركة نقل عفش بالاحساء تعد عملية نقل العفش منن العمليات المرهقة التي يجب عليك الاستعانة بفريق عمل متخصص في عملية نقل العفش لما يتوافر لديهم من أمكانيات وخبرة وعمالة فنية مدربة على نقل العفش دون الإضرار به من خدش او تكسير او تجريح

1/27/2020 4:09 AM

 
Anonymous شركات نقل عفش said...

مجال نقل العفش وتقدم خدمات جيدة وهي افضل شركة نقل عفش بجدة تقدم خدمات نقل العفش من بيت الى بيت آخر في مدينة جدة وما جاورها من مناطق تابعة لها وقد نضطر قبل نقل العفش الى نظافة المنزل الجديد قبل النقل من الداخل ومن الخارج وذلك بالتواصل مع احسن شركة تنظيف منازل بجدة المتخصصة بأعمال التنظيف للمنازل الجديدة والمنازل المفروشة مثل افضل شركة تنظيف موكيت بجدة في الموقع لكي يتم تعقيم المنزل ومن الأفضل ان تقوم بعمل مكافحة للحشرات بالتواصل شركه مكافحه الصراصير جده تتعامل في مكافحة الحشرات وتستخدم مبيدات آمنة ومضمونة ونحتاج ايضا الى تنظيف الخزان وذلك بالتعرف على اكبر وافضل شركة تنظيف خزانات المياه بجدة التي تقدم افضل الخدمات الجيدة في تنظيف وتعقيم الخزانات لكي تحافظ على الماء نظيفا ومعقما اطول فترة زمنية ممكنة لكي تكون مياهك نظيفة فان شركة تنظيف فلل المضمونة ومستعدة لاستقبال مكالمتكم في أي وقت وطلب الخدمة من شركة تنظيف الخزانات بجدة

6/11/2020 4:41 AM

 
Blogger ابو خوخه said...

شركة دهب كلين اكبر شركات المكافحة فى المنطقه الشرقيه نقدم الكثير من رش الحشرات مبيدات امانه ومصرح بها من وزارات الصحه
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالخبر
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالجبيل
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالاحساء

1/29/2022 7:25 AM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home