Rebuttal

So earlier tonight, Ragnell and I were discussing this whole "50 Greatest Characters in the DCU" thing that seems to be going around when she mentioned that she thought Kyle Rayner was a better character than Darkseid.

Now I'm not saying she was in a boozy methadone haze when she said this, but regardless: that is crazy talk. I was willing to let it slide, however, because to be quite honest, we're looking for different things out of comics. Me, I'm a fan of the dynamic action and battery-throwing, whereas she's more of what we call an "ass-based reader."

Don't get me wrong, Kyle's my favorite Green Lantern and all--mostly because he happened to be the one Grant Morrison wrote about in JLA while he was over in his own book lying to his girlfriend about his mother being dead--but that sort of thing just doesn't stack up against Jack Kirby's idea of Ultimate Galactic Evil.

But let's look at the facts, won't you?

CHALLENGE ONE: The Ladies

Here's Kyle's first encounter with Supergirl, provided by Seven Hells:


Ouch. Shot down by a girl whose last boyfriend sacrificed her to the Devil. That's gotta hurt.

And here's Uxas entertaining Supergirl in the romantic 30th Century:



Looks like he really knocked her off her feet!

CHALLENGE TWO: Maintaining Your Cool While Enjoying A Tasty Beverage

If you break it down by page count, most of Kyle Rayner's time is spent drinking coffee at Radu's (followed shortly by "engaging in disastrous romance" and "flying around assuring people that he's the real Green Lantern" as a close third). Let's check out the technique he uses to accomplish this simplest of tasks:


Wow. Dropped it right out of the panel at the slightest hint of surprise. That's gotta be the guy we want with the most powerful weapon in the universe on his finger. And he should certainly have some more caffeine.

By contrast, here's how Darksied likes to quench his thirst:


A delicoius snifter of brandy, in someone else's house, kicked back like he owns the place. I daresay he's chillaxing.

CHALLENGE THREE: Fightin' and Winnin'

Darkseid is an unimaginably powerful combatant, seen here doing battle with mighty Orion, using a kick so powerful that it can only be contained by a double-page spread:


And here's Kyle, in imminent danger of being held down and beaten to death by Dr. Light after he lost his ring during a prison riot.


Okay, okay. To be fair, he didn't lose his ring. It was stolen. By the Red Dart.

So, who's the winner in this little showdown? I think that's obvious.

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PS: No matter who you are or what you do, Darkseid probably has a tape of your wife having sex with someone else.

Just something to keep in mind.