I've Moved! Check out the all-new, all-different Invincible Super-Blog at www.The-ISB.com!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Dollar Comic Review: Bloodstone 101

You know who I feel bad for? Mark Hale. Based on Elsa Bloodstone's appearance in Warren Ellis and Stuart Immonen's sure-to-be awesome NextWave, he bought and read every issue of her 2001 debut miniseries.

He could've just waited for me to do it for him.

I'd hit it.
Bloodstone 1-4
December, 2001 - March, 2002
Writers: Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning
Pencils and Covers: Michael Lopez

The Plot
Elsa Bloodstone is hot. Seriously. I've read this series three times now, and that's pretty much the only fact that sticks with me, thanks in large part to Michael Lopez's cheesecake-laden pencil-work. Here, see for yourself:


See what I mean? There is, however, slightly more to it than that. Remember how you all loved it when Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning took some time off from writing Warhammer novels and doing some darn fine inking, respectively, to write stories about future teenagers in space? Well, they also did this. Buffy--sorry, Elsa is the daughter of Bronze Age monster hunter Ulysses Bloodstone, and since he finally kicked the bucket about thirty years back, she and her mom are moving into his creepy old house. Mom has apparently never read Lovecraft, and wants to turn it into an antique/curio shop, while Elsa is content to lounge around in belly shirts speaking faux-British until she runs into the Monster of Frankenstein, who lives in a basement.

He's an okay guy, though, and it turns out he's the mansion's caretaker. He gives Elsa her father's lightsaber--sorry, bloodstone choker, and she gets wrapped up in the whole monster hunting deal while her mom dates the Dark Shadows-esque family lawyer, Charles Barnabus. Thanks to her father's love of slavery (really, although it's just a genie), Elsa's whisked away for encounters with smooth-ass Marvel Dracula and N'Kantu, the Living Mummy, completing the Famous Monster Trifecta and moving on to the Blade II bonus round of taking out the Nosferati. See, the evil vampires have a plan to infect Dracula with Ebola (?!) and then drink his blood (?!), but Elsa and her Crew are able to foil it, and everything works out okay.

  • Elsa's father, Ulysses Bloodstone, was an immortal from the time of Conan, who assumed various identities over the years, including Captain Ahab. This was not, unfortunately, the identity he assumed when he fought ORRGO THE UNCONQUERABLE. That would've been badass.
  • When we first see Elsa's mother, she's six months pregnant with Elsa's baby brother. Considering that Ulysses has been dead for quite some time, and Elsa makes references to not really knowing him, we can assume he's not the father. The problem? The father is never mentioned. Not even a hint. And then she starts dating a creepy lawyer.
  • Despite the fact that he appears on the cover of Essential Monster of Frankenstein in a nice fur-and-loincloth ensemble, Adam (that's the Monster) dresses a lot like Marty McFly.
  • On the cover to #2, Elsa appears to be wearing a bra designed by Stark Industries, for the reasons discussed above. It never actually appears in the story, but she does spend most of the issue obeying Dave Campbell's "Four Points of Contact" law.
  • When asked what his eternal undeath is like, N'Kantu the Living Mummy replies: "A lot like life, only colder." No joke here, I just think that's a pretty good line.
  • Let's take a look at Nosferatu's Master Plan: He's not getting the same high he used to from regular blood, so he decides that the best course of action would be to infect Dracula with Ebola which, since he won't die, will just make him bleed more. Admittedly, I'm a noted expert on Master Plans, but I can spot a fatal flaw in this one even before you throw a gun-toting monster hunter. Correct me if I'm wrong, which I'm not, but Ebola is transmitted through the blood.
  • Considering that it's the introduction of a new character, Bloodstone's pretty open ended. By the last page, Elsa's got her team of monster-hunters, a kickass hideout, and plans to attend college in the fall. And yet, we don't see her until four years later, when Warren Ellis sends out an email asking for forgotten Marvel characters. This, Elsa, does not bode well.

Defining Moment

It defined MY moment, anyway.
And that's real conversation for your ass.


Blogger Mark W. Hale said...

I graciously accept your pity.

10/20/2005 12:15 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Head Shop and Bong Amazing Legal Herbal Highs, featuring Herbal Smoke, Bongs, Herbal highs, Marijuana Alternative, Headshop Herbal Smoking Blends, Hashish, Herbal Smoke Online, Headshop, Smokeshop, cannibis, legal smoking alternatives for herbal highs and aphrodisia. http://www.headshopinternational.com

3/08/2007 10:36 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like your Blog… Nice artwork!

Keep up the good work!

5/16/2007 11:48 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another 2-year-late comment: Anyone else notice that Elsa is wearing a garter w/out panites on the cover of #1? Well, not really, but it looks that way with the roman arches and her tight pants.

8/28/2007 3:59 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

companies marketing mineral makeups and also get the best bargains in mineral makeup you can imagine,
find aout how to consolidate your students loans or just how to lower your actual rates.,
looking for breast enlargements? in Rochester,
homeopathy for eczema learn about it.,
Allergies, information about lipitor,
save big with great bargains in mineral makeup,

change edition interviewing motivational people preparing second

interviewing motivational people preparing second time

interviewing people motivational preparing for a second time

black mold exposure

black mold exposure symptoms

black mold symptoms of exposure

free job interview questions

free job interview answers

interview answers to get a job

lookfor hair styles for fine thin hair

search hair styles for fine thin hair

hair styles for fine thin hair

beach resort in the philippines

great beach resort in the philippines

luxury beach resort in the philippines
iron garden gates, here,
iron garden gates,
wrought iron garden gates
, here
wrought iron garden gates
You: The Owner's Manual: An Insider's Guide to the Body That Will Make You Healthier and Younger
eat eating mindless more than think we we why

texturizers here,
black hair texturizer,
find aout how care curly hair,
find about how to care curly hair,
care curly hair,
lipitor rash,
lipitor reactions,
new house ventura california,
the house new houston tx,
new house washington dc,
new house pa philadelphia,
san antonio tx house new,
house new pa philadelphia,
new house washington dc,
new house ventura california,
the house new houston tx,
house new san antonio tx,
the house new houston tx, that you are looking for,
new house ventura california, you need to buy,
new house washington dc,
house new pa philadelphia,
new house san antonio tx,

hair surgery transplant

air filter allergy

refurbished dell laptop computers

hair surgery transplant

air filter allergy

refurbished dell laptop computers

hair surgery transplant

air filter allergy

refurbished dell laptop computers

chocolate esophagus heartburn study

chocolate esophagus heartburn study
be informed,

digestion healing healthy heartburn natural preventing way

digestion healing healthy heartburn natural preventing way
sew skirts, 16simple styles you can make!,
sew what skirts 16 simple styles you,
rebates and discounts on sunsetter awnings,
sunsetter awnings discounts and rebates,
discount on sunsetter awnings

truck and bus tires 12r 22.5, get the best price,
tires truck and bus 12r 22.5 best price,
tires truck bus tires12r 22.5 best price,
plush car seat strap covers,
car seat strap covers,plush,
car seat strap, plush covers,
oscoda voip phone systems, the best!,
oscoda voip the phone system,
oscoda voip phone systems,
exterior iron gates,
oriental wrought iron gates,
powder coated iron garden fencing,

1/28/2008 4:59 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

black mold exposure,
black mold symptoms of exposure,

wrought iron garden gates,
your next iron garden gates, here,

hair styles for fine thin hair,
search hair styles for fine thin hair,

night vision binoculars,
buy, night vision binoculars,

lipitor reactions,
lipitor reactions,

luxury beach resort in the philippines,
beach resort in the philippines,

homeopathy for baby eczema.,
homeopathy for baby eczema.,

save big with great mineral makeup bargains,
companies marketing mineral makeups,

prodam iphone praha,
Apple prodam iphone praha,

iphone clone cect manual,
manual for iphone clone cect,

fero 52 binoculars night vision,
fero 52 night vision,

best night vision binoculars,
buy, best night vision binoculars,

computer programs to make photo albums,
computer programs, make photo albums,

craftmatic adjustable air bed
craftmatic adjustable air bed, info here

boyd night air bed
boyd night air bed, low price

air bed in wisconsin
best air beds in wisconsin

cloud air inflatable bed
best cloud air inflatable beds

portable sealy air bed
portables, sealy air beds

aluminum rv luggage racks
aluminum made, rv luggage racks

air bed form raised
best air beds form raised

support equipments aircraft
best support equipments for aircrafts

informercials bed air
best, informercials bed air

mattress sized air beds
best mattress sized air bed

antique doorknob identification
antique doorknob, identification tips

troubleshooting dvd player
troubleshooting with the dvd player

flat panel television lcd versus plasma
flat panel television, lcd versus plasma pic the best

causes of economic recession
what are the causes of economic recession

free printable tax forms
free printable IRS tax forms

bed air foam adjustable
bed air adjustable foam

hoof prints antique and unusual equestrian prints
hoof prints, antique equestrian prints

buy adjustable air bed
buy the best adjustable air beds

air bedscanadian stores
air beds, cheap canadian stores

4/05/2008 5:08 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...



A片,色情,成人,做愛,情色文學,A片下載,色情遊戲,色情影片,色情聊天室,情色電影,免費視訊,免費視訊聊天,免費視訊聊天室,一葉情貼圖片區,情色,情色視訊,免費成人影片,視訊交友,視訊聊天,視訊聊天室,言情小說,愛情小說,AIO,AV片,A漫,av dvd,聊天室,自拍,情色論壇,視訊美女,AV成人網,色情A片,SEX,成人圖片區





12/13/2008 1:27 AM


Post a Comment

<< Home