The Best Solicitation Ever

Today, I enjoyed what will be known throughout the ages as The King of Sandwiches.

Now I'm hardly a gourmand, but the sandwich is a particular passion of mine. In fact, I recently had a conversation with Scott where we agreed that the Earl of Sandwich, whose passion for gambling was so great that it allowed him to singlehandedly revolutionize the lunch industry in the 18th century, and that his brilliance would be worth watching if time travel ever became as common to us as it is to Silver Age Superman.

Fun Fact: John Montagu, the Earl of Sandwich, had been a member of the Hellfire Club with John Wilkes, the radical English journalist for whom John Wilkes Booth, screwball actor and assassin of Abraham Lincoln, was named. It is unknown whether he was actually a cyborg or a mutant telepath.

But that is beside the point--which is itself actually beside the point, but bear with me anyway. Today Tug and I rolled over to Sub Station II for lunch, and I decided it was time to do the impossible.

I ordered a foot-long Super-Special (#19), which includes cheese, ham, turkey, capicola, and blogna, which I don't get, substituting extra capicola instead.

Oh, and I doubled up on the meat. KRAKADOOM!!

It was a truly phenomenal amount of sandwich. Even the nice lady who runs the place told me that there was enough meat on the sandwich already, and I didn't need to put any more on it, but who dares wins, lads. Who dares wins. And believe me when I say this: It was easily one of the top ten sandwiches I have ever eaten in my life.

Warren Ellis and Stuart Immonen's NextWave is like my sandwich.

Take a look at what may in fact be the single best comic book solicitation ever written, courtesy of Marvel's marketing department and our friends over at Newsarama, with my emphasis added:

NEXTWAVE #1 (of 12)

Written by WARREN ELLIS
Pencils & Cover by STUART IMMONEN

RRRAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!! Action! Excitement! Explosions! The Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort, or H.A.T.E. (a subsidiary of the Beyond Corporation©) put NEXTWAVE together to fight Bizarre Weapons of Mass Destruction. When NEXTWAVE discovers that H.A.T.E. and Beyond© are terrorist cells themselves and that the BWMDs were intended to kill them, they are less than pleased. In fact, they are rather angry. So they make things explode. Lots of things. Starring Monica Rambeau (formerly Captain Marvel and Photon), Aaron Stack (Machine Man), Tabitha Smith (X-Force's Meltdown), monster-hunter Elsa Bloodstone and The Captain! Guest-starring Fin Fang Foom!!! If you like anything, you will LOVE NEXTWAVE!!! BOOM!!

32 PGS./ PARENTAL ADVISORY ...$2.99

Holy Crap!

Now that is a senses-shattering description. If the house ad up top and the beautiful Stuart Immonen cover hadn't gotten you excited before, the fact that it'll appeals to anyone who likes things might just knock you out of your chair. I'm pretty sure the first time I read it it blasted my eyebrows two inches up my forehead, and now I look surprised at everything.

Like my sandwich, there's entirely too much meat in there, and way more exclamation points than anyone actually needs--but it's delicious. I mean, an all new acronymed Marvel terrorist organization, explosions, and the promise of monkeys? And for cryin' out loud, Elsa Frigg'n Bloodstone, a Dollar Comic Review I've been meaning to get to ever since Tug talked me into buying the issues? And it's all wrapped up in a Parental Advisory.

If Sharknife shows up, it might be the best comic ever.