The Effing Time Warp

Another Saturday night in the Capital City, and surprise surprise, there I was at the Art Bar with Matt G.

After a completely uneventful day at the shop, I'd gone out with him because a few friends of ours were going to be performing. The show in question was a tribute to the Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I cannot stand, but more on that later. First, let's take things as they come.

The opening act was a band called The DiMeras, who I can only assume named themselves after this guy.

That cool-ass motherfucker is one Stefano DiMera, the mastermind archvillain of TV's Days of Our Lives. Now I'm not a fan of the soap opera--I prefer my melodrama with a chance of devastating injury--but on the few I've seen, Stefano is the unstoppable life destroying Dr. Doom of Salem. But I don't think he ever covered Jamiroquai, so I'm not sure how he ties into the band.

Still, they did have a girl rocking with an electric cello, and as I said to Matt, I like a little electric cello. I like a little upright bass.

Because they don't go like this: --
They go like this: I

And that's probably a lot funnier with the hand motions. Regardless, by the time I said it, Matt was already telling me about his Drunken Boxing, which was, to quote: "BAAAAAAAAAD-AAAAAAASSSSS!"

And about that time was when the Rocky Horror tribute started. I'll be honest with you: I fucking hate the Rocky Horor Picture show. Maybe it's got something to do with my sister making me watch it when I was nine, I can't stand it. I think my feelings were best summed up by Simon Pegg on an episode of Spaced:

"I hate it! It's boil-in-the-bag perversion for sexually repressed accountants and first-year Drama students with too many posters of Betty Blue, the Blues Brothers, Big Blue, and Blue Velvet on their blue bloody walls!"

So yeah. Not exactly my thing.

Now, that said, the show was really good. I was expecting everyone to do a good job, but I figured it would be akin to seeing an exceptional performance of, say, Kickboxer 2, but to my pleasant surprise, it was pretty enjoyable. Everyone in it did a great job. My peoples were pretty good, as were the ersatz Tim Curry and the cellist from the band, who pulled double duty as Riff-Raff and Columbia. I really doubt, however, that she's going to go far enough in her method acting to cameo in Dungeons & Dragons: The Movie, which is probably for the best.

But the question remains, if I hate Rocky Horror so much, why did I even bother to go in the first place? Well, there's something you should know about me, kiddo.

I will do anything--anything--to see a hot girl in her undapants.