LOCKDOWN!

ATTENTION: The ISB is being put on Ultra-High-Security Lockdown! The malevolent force known only as my sister is making her way steadily to my home. This was news that Mom dropped on me rather unceremoniously earlier today. So much like Ka-Zar, I have to deal with an evil sibling.

Unlike Ka-Zar, I'll also being with said sibling's husband and two small children while I try to knock out seven hundred words a day on why comic shop customers should at least have GEDs.

I also don't plan on punching out Thanos.

So this news was the dark spot on an otherwise fun day that involved me hanging out with Brandon. We watched Harlem Nights ("You'll be the nine-toedest, limpinest bitch in Harlem!") and played the Marvel Trivia Game I got a few years ago, and thanks to knowing Ghost Rider's first appearance by heart, I kicked his ass.

It got us talking about a bunch of Marvel characters, and I told him about the time I ran across a fan-fic called "Spider-Gwen." What I was doing finding fan-fics is my own damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my affairs. Anyway, I--like many, I'm sure--figured it was probably a What If? about Gwen Stacy getting bitten by the radioactive spider instead of Peter Parker. But no.

It was about Gwen Stefani getting spider-powers.

I told the story to Brandon on the way back to his house, and he just turned and looked at me.

"Chris," he said, "That shit's bananas."