The Week in Ink, 9/14/05

I've had a bit of a head cold for the past couple of days, so if I'm not funny, that's probably why. But I will soldier on, despite the hardships.

Last night I had a dream where I was the Breach. Not only that, but I was totally about to hook up with this hot chick, which meant I was trying to get out of my containment suit, but we had to swing by a fast food restaurant first.

Two things about that:
1. Mixing cold medicine and comics will always produce unusual results.
2. If that dream comes true, I'll be frigg'n surprised.

Here's what I bought this week:

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Comics:

All-Star Batman & Robin, The Boy Wonder #2: When Chad walked into work this week, he asked me if this one picked up any from the first issue. "No, man," I said, "it picked down." I went to bat for the first issue around the shop, and I probably liked it more than anyone I work with, but man. This one was pretty awful. The dialogue seems really awkward in parts, and between killing a bunch of cops and giving Dick Grayson five across the eyes, I can't get a handle on Batman or his motivations. I'm just not sure what Frank Miller's trying to get at with his script, but I'm pretty sure it's awful. Maybe I'm being a little unfair, but considering that Jim Lee and Frank Miller will never, ever read this, I'm comfortable in saying it: This book sucks.

The Breach #9: Only two issues left for the Breach, which means I'm anticipating a 44-page throwdown beginning next issue. I'm hoping the Breach will come back and have a big impact in Infinite Crisis, but I'm sure that's a pipe-dream. Javier Pulido--the Pulido that I like, incidentally--pencilled this issue, but his art is similar to Marcos Martin's and equally enjoyable.

Daredevil vs. Punisher #4

Desolation Jones #3: This is the feel-good comic of the year. For instance, it's comforting to know that Warren Ellis thinks about porn as much as I do. For half the issue, he made me feel vaguely uncomfortable and guilty about the uncounted gigabytes I've downloaded over the years, but the punchline to it on page eleven made the whole thing worth it. JH Williams draws beautiful fight scenes, and the fact that it goes black and white when Jones breaks the guy's nose reminds me of The Street Fighter in a very happy way.

Fables #41: I haven't really talked about Fables much, but it's the most consistently enjoyable comic I read. Every time it comes out, it amazes me with how good it is, so it's hard to pick a single thing about a particular issue that I like. This issue wraps up the "Homelands" storyline, which has been my favorite so far, what with all the vorpal swording and revealing the identity of the Adversary. It's solid.

Franklin Richards: Son of a Genius: I almost bought every issue of Power Pack to get these stories. It's essentially Chris Eliopolis doing Calvin & Hobbes with the Fantastic Four, and if you can say no to that you're a better man than I. Plus, on the inside back cover, you get an ad for the Human Torch Dress-Up Kit, which--astonishingly enough--has still not been pulled out of stores, despite being both horrendous and potentially deadly. I'm excited about it, and you should be too.

JLA #118: Look, I know there's a storyline reason for the Justice League to put stuff to a vote, but I can't be the only one to realize this: If Superman doesn't want you to do something, there's not a whole heck of a lot you can do to make it happen. On the art side of things, Chris Batista does a good job of drawing pretty girls in fishnet stockings, and although it's a little odd that most of the women in this book choose to stand around in sultry poses most of the time, it's certainly enjoyable. Plus, it's got the Justice League fighting a big pink guy who shoots laser beams out of his third eye, and that always gets me excited.

JSA #77: I'm just really surprised Hal Jordan didn't punch Airwave in the face and tell him to man up.

New Thunderbolts #12

Rann-Thanagar War #5: This has been my least favorite of the Countdown tie-ins, but I liked this issue a heck of a lot. To be honest, the first four issues bored me, especially considering the constant pace of the action in Andy Diggle's Adam Strange, where even a guy laying unconscious in space had an air of urgency to it. I'm still not sure what Kyle Rayner and Kilowog are up to and why exactly it matters, but there was a lot of excitement in this one.

Thor: Blood Oath #1: I really liked Michael Avon Oeming's "Ragnarok" story arc on Thor, which surprised me since I hated Hammer of the Gods. Blood Oath starts off pretty strong with the Warriors Three, and it looks like it could be a pretty fun story, but Stormbreaker looked like it was going to be fun, too, and that one turned out pretty rough. I'm looking forward to the rest of it, though.

Ultimate X-Men #63

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Trades

Cartoonist v.1, Cartoonist v.2, Undercover Genie, and The Cowboy Wally Show: My Kyle Baker reorders finally came in, and now I'm sure of it: The man's a genius. His artwork can be intricately detailed without being cluttered, and his writing delivers a hilarious punchline every time. In Cowboy Wally, there's a joke that makes me laugh on every single page. Heck, even the guy's press releases are comedy gold. It's gotten to the point where I'm thinking about breaking down and getting Birth of a Nation, even though it was written by Hollywood Hudlin.

Ronin Hood of the 47 Samurai: You know what I like? Full-color original graphic novels that cost less than ten bucks. Ronin Hood was exactly what I wanted it to be, and delivered a fun story with decent art at a cheap enough price point that I wouldn't have felt all that bad if it wasn't that good. But let's be honest here. I bought this thing because the writer's daughter is totally hot.

Now, back to bed.