Thankstravaganza '05!

While I was on my way home tonight, there was a DJ on WUSC who decided to play nothing but different renditions of "Walking In A Winter Wonderland" for an entire hour. It goes without saying that that was the most awesome format I've ever heard, but it's a pretty strange choice. Especially considering that as much as I like that song, the line "we'll face unafraid / the plans that we've made" has always bothered me. Why would you be afraid of plans to walk in a winter wonderland? For some reason, the first thing I always think of when I hear that is the grim resolve that accompanies a suicide pact.

Again, I'm pretty sure that's just me. Moving on.

For those of you reading this from some savage land that isn't the Good Ol' US of A, today's Thanksgiving, which is a day we set aside to give thanks for what we have by eating as much of it as possible. Football is also involved.

It's been an official holiday here since 1863, when Abraham Lincoln--a guy you might remember from that time that he, oh, I don't know, freed the slaves--decided we should all take some time off to celebrate "the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy." That means you, The South.

The traditions, of course, actually go back a lot further, to the 1600s when the Native Americans decided to help the hard-prayin' outcasts of England to survive the winter. And I think we all know how that ended up:

Really, though, it's mostly about gorging yourself and watching Santa roll down the street in preparation for getting into a fistfight at Toys 'R' Us tomorrow. It's a beautiful thing.

[Note: They also celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada, although they didn't get around to making it a holiday until 1957. And since Canada was settled by Vikings and Eskimos rather than Pilgrims, I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the start of Hockey season.]

So what am I thankful for? The usual stuff, mostly: Health, family, friends, the fact that Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories was a much better sequel than Tony Hawk's American Wasteland, things like that.

I'm thankful for the dozens of comics creators that entertain and inspire me every week. I'm thankful for the handful of pros who have actually read and commented on the ISB, which always gives me a little thrill.

I'm thankful for comics in general, because like Scott says: Even when they're bad, they're better than diggin' a ditch. I'm also thankful for this picture. Also, this picture, which is somehow even funnier.

I'm thankful for the fact that Google co-founder Larry Page is able, according to NPR's Marketplace, to wallpaper his entire house in hundred dollar bills, meaning he can provide me with a space to talk about Count Dante for no charge to you, the consumer.

But there's one thing I'm more thankful for than anything else this year, and that is this:

I'm thankful for Dave Campbell, because this one time, he saw this orphanage that was on fire and rushed in, saving twenty-three orphans. Then, just to teach him a lesson about playing with matches, he ate one of them, an act which made every single nun in the tri-state area renounce their vows of chastity.

And that's a fact.