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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Romance Special: My (Allegedly) Funny Valentines

All right, buster, you've got less than a week until Valentine's Day, and odds are that you've been so busy practicing your tree-climbing skills that you've neglected to actually buy a Valentine for your sweetheart. Well don't get caught unawares!

Instead, turn to your old pal Chris, because tonight on the ISB, I've done all the work for you. Simply pick out one of these fine cards, print it, and deliver to your loved-one of choice. And believe me: These things are guaranteed to get you some ass*.

(Note: The preceeding may only be romantic if your girlfriend is a Nazi made of bees. If that is indeed the case, you may want to seriously rethink your relationship.)

(Note: Batman, man-eating super-apes, and flying kicks make virtually anything better. Therefore, this is probably the most romantic thing you or anyone else has ever seen. She'll love it.)

Of course, if you've decided to take this Valentine's Day in a bit of a different direction, do the sensible thing. Say it with Batman:

* This is a lie.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hooray! My Valentine's Day is saved!

Now if only she'd stop sleeping with the neighbor.

2/09/2006 3:04 AM

Blogger Jim Shelley said...

More great stuff! I'm loving these little placards you are making!

2/09/2006 10:19 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll have you know that Valentine's Day is also my birthday, so they're extra special!

And Chris, I counted those panels in the Marvel Romance trade. (Make a 1000 bags and boards today or count in a romance book? I'll take "count panels", Alex.) Alas, I was sorely disappointed by the story:tears ratio. 733 panels. Only 67 of them involved crying. And that's not including "Patsy's Secret Boyfriend" which went on for a mind-numbingly 80 panels of what was basically a fashion show. I did get some satisfaction from "Jilted Lover", which was 28 panels of story, and 18 panels of crying! Whoo! Even the Sterenko story had FOUR pages of bawling!

I swear commening on these two things (Valentine cards and crying romance books) in the same post was completely random.

(Heh. "rwett" was my word verification.)

2/11/2006 11:25 PM

Blogger Chris Sims said...

"Patsy's Secret Boyfriend" milks that thin premise for far, far more than it's worth. All we really find out is that Hedy's a conniving shrew, Patsy really doesn't think anyone's going to get suspicious when she's driving around with Salesman McHandsome, and that everyone's opinion of Patsy is rooted solely in her relationship with Buzz. No wonder she ended up with the Defenders.

And for the record, Valentine's is also Radical-C's birthday, which--if my knowledge of birthday by-laws is up to snuff--means you get as much chocolate AND alcohol as you want! Rock on!

2/12/2006 10:16 PM


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