Mine Are Never That Cool
Tug found this little moment of Pure Comics Joy back on Free Comic Book Day, and it may well be the best cover blurb I've seen all year:
That is pure poetry. And hey, check it out: Flip to page three and...
...it actually does! And it's even personalized! And yet, Shang Chi does in fact survive this entire issue, even going so far as to kick a man in the face with both feet while hovering parallel to the ground.
But really, I once got one saying I was never bitter or petty, so I'm pretty sure you just can't trust those things.