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Monday, May 15, 2006

Settling It Once and For All

Religious Fundamentalists Say:

Dinosaurs are lizards that grew to enormous size six thousand years ago while coexisting with man in the Garden of Eden free of sin and death before the fall, but were most likely wiped out during the Great Flood as detailed in Genesis.

Scientists Say:

Dinosaurs were gigantic lizards who roamed the earth until roughly sixty-five million years ago, before the rise of the human race, but suffered a catastrophic extinction, most likely caused by a large meteor impacting the earth and upsetting the ecological system in which they thrived.

The ISB Says:

Dinosaurs were giant creatures from the planet Krypton that were brought to earth one million years ago by a giant space teenager from the future. Though tame on their native planet, they were driven to savagery by the sinking of Atlantis.

(Click to enlarge the Indisputable Truth)


Come on. Who are you going to believe?

9 Comments:

Blogger Ragnell said...

As a DC Nun, I can only trust one truth. Will everyone please open your hymnals to Page 652, so that we can join our voices in praise of the Time-Traveling Teenager (From Outer Spaaaace!!)

5/16/2006 2:20 AM

 
Blogger kalinara said...

My Sister indeed speaketh truth. However in her zealousness she has forgotten the most important part.

We must praise the GIANT Time-Traveling Teenager (From Outer Spaaaace!!).

As there are quite too many of them otherwise one *must* be specific.

5/16/2006 2:29 AM

 
Blogger joncormier said...

Heh, The Gospel According to Colossol Boy.

And yeah he grew to a size not unlike 300 cubits, and verrily he did tame the meek thunder lizards, and yeah and verrily he did he begat the beasts into savage creatures to bear the curse of the serpent and meet righteous fists of four coloured fury for eternity, I mean entertainment. Amen - or hallelujah.

5/16/2006 8:50 AM

 
Anonymous Chuck T. said...

Well, it makes more sense than thetans and...hey, why is my inbox full of subpoenas?

5/16/2006 9:55 AM

 
Anonymous Jer said...

I just love the caption - it needs to be read in the voice of the narrator from Superfriends:

"Colossal Boy, using his superpower of making himself huge..."

I love it. He's as big as the dinosaur in the picture, yet the caption still points out his superpowers. I miss captions sometimes...

5/16/2006 10:39 AM

 
Blogger Pope Impious XXIII said...

Most importantly, look at the COLOR! Colossal Boy wasn't responsible for dinosaurs.. He was responsible for pink and purple dinosaurs. He was responsible for Barney!

Bastard!

5/16/2006 12:30 PM

 
Anonymous Vincent J. Murphy said...

Will my belief in the Titan Presidents of Bismol interfere with beliefs in the Giant Time-Traveling Teenager (From Outer Spaaaace!!)? I don't want Matter-Eater Lad going jihad on my posterior.

5/16/2006 8:26 PM

 
Anonymous Tom Scudder said...

That's pretty convincing, but I think you have to take into consideration the evidence of the combined fallen-angel/dinosaur assault on Noah's Ark.

5/18/2006 1:48 AM

 
Anonymous Mathew said...

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9/17/2011 5:39 PM

 

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