Spooktoberfest Special: The Bloodsucking Battle YOU Demanded!
Last week, I briefly mentioned that Laurel K. Hamilton's Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter: Guilty Pleasures #1--a title that ends about four words after it should--wasn't exactly what you'd call "good." But after a careful reconsideration, I've come to the conclusion that I might not be the best person to judge this one.
After all, I usually skip the Supernatural Erotica section of my local bookstore in favor of the Pro Wrestler Espionage and Martial Arts Western shelves, so I don't have the baseline familiarity with the character that any serious reviewer would draw upon.
I do, however, have a copy of Marvel's recent Dr. Strange vs. Dracula: The Montesi Formula trade--which revolves around a spell from the Darkhold so powerful that it wipes out all the vampires... except, you know, all of them--to use for comparison.
So with Halloween fast approaching, tonight the ISB brings you the Most Supernatural Slugfest Of All as we dare to ask the question...
That's right: After exhausting research that consisted of both flipping through back issues of and pushing the right button on my scanner, I'm prepared to offer up a definitive five-point comparison of their defining characteristics.
Now on with it!
Round One: The Look!
Anita Blake appears to be a reasonably attractive brunette with no skin pigmentation whatsoever.
Dracula appears to be a slightly more terrifying Vincent Price.
Admittedly, Dracula probably achieves the desired effect a little better, but all things considered, I'd rather look at the albino resurrectionist.
Round Two: Tough Talkin'!
Okay, that's not bad, even if she does spend the majority of the issue trying not to be mind-controlled into jumping onstage at a vampire strip club.
Dracula, your response?
Round Three: Arch-Nemeses
Dracula wages a titanic mystical battle against the eldritch might of Dr. Strange, the Sorcerer Supreme!
Also, while it doesn't happen in The Montesi Formula, I do think it's important to note that Drac here once beat the living hell out of the Silver Surfer.
Anita Blake, on the other hand, fights this douchebag.
Round Four: Breasts
Round Five: Rollin' With Your Homies
Anita Blake rolls with a Sex and the City-style posse of ladies who want to lick the scars of a reedy heroin addict and snowball a mouthful of blood despite the truly unreasonable health risks.
Dracula does not.
And so, with three out of five, your winner is...
See? It's science