Friday, January 26, 2007
I'm unleashing every horrible thing your mind can imagine! CAN YOU TAKE IT?!
Chris Sims is a freelance humorist who also works at a comic book store. He is a black belt in Cobra Kai style Karate, and is not afraid to sweep the leg, even at the risk of disqualification.
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the basics
"Chris works at a comic book shop so he reviews all the latest releases, but the real awesomeness lies in his ability to find obscure or forgotten comic books and write hilariously sarcastic reviews that make fun of them. They deserve it!"--Blair Butler on G4 TV's Attack of the Show!
bonus content
Craving more of my alleged humor? Here's where to find it:CRACKED Magazine
CRACKED.com
| Scenes You Won't Be Seeing in Superman Returns |
| A Beginner's Guide To Supervillainy: Lairs |
| A Beginner's Guide To Supervillainy: Henchmen |
| The Christmas Comedy Encyclopedia |
| The RomCom Encyclopedia |
| The Craziest Things Keith Richards Ever Snorted |
Prism Comics:
| Revolt of the Girl Legionnaries! |
| The Hoard of Midas Moran! |
| The World Still Needs... The Champions! |
| Tomb of Blood! |
| The Battle of the Jitterbugs! |
| The Forbidden Fruit! |
buy stuff
Wondering what the stuff I talk about is really like? Check out my Amazon Store and see for yourself.contact
Hit me up:Previous Posts
- The Week In Ink: 1-24-07
- The SHIELD Technical Manual, Section IV
- Solomon Stone: Now In Two Dimensions!
- In the Aftermath of Solomon Stone...
- The Chronicles of Solomon Stone
- A Resounding Triumph of the Human Spirit! Also, H...
- Weekend Violence!
- The Week In Ink: 1-17-07
- A Friendly Reminder From Power Man
- Holy Shit! DALEKS!
dollar comic reviews
Punisher War Journal #19Batman #423/#424
Punisher #23
Ka-Zar v.2
Olive Us: Birthday Issue
The Heist
The Incredible Hulk vs. Quasimodo
Terror, Inc. 1-13
Bloodstone 1-4
Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos #1
Power Man and Iron Fist #75
Avengers #214
Incredible Hulk #300
Skateman #1
The Saga of U.S. 1: Part One | Part Two
Punisher/Batman: Deadly Knights
where they went wrong
The Legion of Monsters (Remastered Nov. 2006!)Superman and Batman's Night Together (Remastered Sept. 2006!)
Champion Sports #2
Extreme Justice
best of the isb
The Funeral Diaries: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Interlude | Part 5NPR Trading Cards: Series 1 | Series 2
The Presitron
William Shakespeare's Trapped in the Closet
Infinite Crisis in Thirty Seconds
Can Nothing Stop Computo?!
Gorilla vs. Nazi
The Chronicles of Solomon Stone, Book One
Civil War in Thirty Seconds
links - comics
Ye Olde Comick Booke BloggeChaosMonkey's Abysmal Pit
Ragnell's Written World
Comics Worth Reading
PostModernBarney
Dave's Long Box
Progressive Ruin
Random Panels
BeaucoupKevin
Polite Dissent
Seven Hells!
Bad Simian
links - pals
Matt's Comics BlogGo Go Indie Rocket
Blacklist Comedy
Armagideon Time
Jay Pinkerton
Rob Lindsey
Phil Looney
CapVsBats
Secret-HQ
factoid
Aziz Ansari is a fucking badass.
13 Comments:
Not only does he roll, sir, but he inflicts it.
1/27/2007 3:12 AM
I rarely get the opportunity to punch animals, but I'd like to think that when and if the occasion does arise, I will do it with the aplomb and vigor displayed by Iron Fist and/or The Punisher.
1/27/2007 4:40 AM
You know, if Bigby ever gets wind of this, he's going to wander over from Fables and lay a smackdown on old Danny, the likes of which have seldom been seen.
So there.
1/27/2007 9:29 AM
Bigby vs. Batman. A fight so epic it will DESTROY THE WORLD!
1/27/2007 9:39 AM
Later for any jazz 'bout animal cruelty, indeed.
1/27/2007 10:29 AM
Bear in mind that for Iron Fist, punching wolves carries the same secret satisfaction that punching superstitious, cowardly criminals has for Batman. He knows he may never punch out the wolf that ate his Moms, but he can dream.
1/27/2007 10:51 AM
I thought the above comment that started "Bear in mind" was building up to a joke about punching another North American predator, but no dice.
1/27/2007 10:58 AM
IF's kung fu is usually impeccable, but for a guy who bills himself as the "Living Weapon," that is a sub-Aparo backhand. Maybe he's doing the Times crossword puzzle out-of-frame with his other hand, I don't know.
1/27/2007 7:36 PM
The things you learn reading the comments. I never knew Danny's mom was eaten by wolves.
HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD!
1/27/2007 8:36 PM
On second glance, it totally looks like Danny slit the wolf's throat with his fist of iron.
That's stone cold.
1/27/2007 9:35 PM
Dear Chris,
As a friend, I worry about your continued glorification of animal abuse. As we learned in the very special comic, Superman for The Animals, animal abuse is the sign of great emotional problems, and can lead to more violent actions against humans.
I urge you to seek profesional help as soon as possible.
Your Pal,
Philip
1/28/2007 12:04 AM
Dear Philip,
You're a jerk who didn't go to lunch with me today.
Regards,
Chris
PS: You're a jerk.
1/28/2007 12:49 AM
I really like it, I think that Danny rolls is so cool!Nice, I posted something similar to this on my blog after I launched my project.
5/18/2011 4:25 PM
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