Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I'm unleashing every horrible thing your mind can imagine! CAN YOU TAKE IT?!
Chris Sims is a freelance humorist who also works at a comic book store. He is a black belt in Cobra Kai style Karate, and is not afraid to sweep the leg, even at the risk of disqualification.
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"Chris works at a comic book shop so he reviews all the latest releases, but the real awesomeness lies in his ability to find obscure or forgotten comic books and write hilariously sarcastic reviews that make fun of them. They deserve it!"--Blair Butler on G4 TV's Attack of the Show!
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Hit me up:Previous Posts
- Chris vs. Previews: February, Part Two
- Chris vs. Previews: February, Part One
- A Weekend With Iron Fist, Part Two
- Because It Just Wouldn't Be Friday Night...
- The Week In Ink: 1-24-07
- The SHIELD Technical Manual, Section IV
- Solomon Stone: Now In Two Dimensions!
- In the Aftermath of Solomon Stone...
- The Chronicles of Solomon Stone
- A Resounding Triumph of the Human Spirit! Also, H...
dollar comic reviews
Punisher War Journal #19Batman #423/#424
Punisher #23
Ka-Zar v.2
Olive Us: Birthday Issue
The Heist
The Incredible Hulk vs. Quasimodo
Terror, Inc. 1-13
Bloodstone 1-4
Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos #1
Power Man and Iron Fist #75
Avengers #214
Incredible Hulk #300
Skateman #1
The Saga of U.S. 1: Part One | Part Two
Punisher/Batman: Deadly Knights
where they went wrong
The Legion of Monsters (Remastered Nov. 2006!)Superman and Batman's Night Together (Remastered Sept. 2006!)
Champion Sports #2
Extreme Justice
best of the isb
The Funeral Diaries: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Interlude | Part 5NPR Trading Cards: Series 1 | Series 2
The Presitron
William Shakespeare's Trapped in the Closet
Infinite Crisis in Thirty Seconds
Can Nothing Stop Computo?!
Gorilla vs. Nazi
The Chronicles of Solomon Stone, Book One
Civil War in Thirty Seconds
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Comics Worth Reading
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Dave's Long Box
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Random Panels
BeaucoupKevin
Polite Dissent
Seven Hells!
Bad Simian
links - pals
Matt's Comics BlogGo Go Indie Rocket
Blacklist Comedy
Armagideon Time
Jay Pinkerton
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Phil Looney
CapVsBats
Secret-HQ
factoid
Aziz Ansari is a fucking badass.
23 Comments:
Wow, he looks like a jerk. Is this the same guy she beat the shit out of someone for killing?
1/30/2007 11:14 PM
What karate form is that, "screw it I'm just gonna punch you in the face?" Glad to see that's still in vogue in the Legion's time.
1/30/2007 11:48 PM
When the hell was this?!?
1/31/2007 12:22 AM
Ultra Boy apparently picked the wrong power. Val's always bugged me a little: it's just weird that Space Karate is that much better than Bat Karate. But whatever, somebody has to keep the future safe for kicks in the face!
1/31/2007 12:36 AM
Bah - Karate Kid throws down every day of the week. Man, you have a DALEK in your sidebar. THAT'S sweet.
1/31/2007 12:46 AM
Oh, Daniel-san, Mr. Miyagi will be so disappointed. He will not train you for the All Galaxy Karate Tournament now, because you used his teaching for anger.
Strike first. Strike hard. No mercy.
1/31/2007 2:55 AM
So is she holding her hand to her face because she's feeling faint at this mighty display of testosterone, or is it more of an "Oh dear Christ" expression?
1/31/2007 3:04 AM
Who's the artist on that?
Carmine Infantino?
1/31/2007 6:46 AM
Wait, you mean KK isn't referring to Ultra Boy when he says "that girl"?
I had a vision of KK carrying UB out of the Legion headquarters and into the sunset together! Aah, sweet enforced love.
(And why doesn't Ultra Boy choose invulnerability as his default power? You know, just in case there's a surprise attack or something?)
1/31/2007 7:22 AM
Well, Jo could leave invulnerability on all the time, but check out his and Val's shirts -- KK didn't catch him totally off-guard, they threw it down. Jo apparently got a couple of shots in, but it was to no avail. I wouldn't be surprised if Val told him he was going to punch him in the head and then kick him in the head and then force him to punch himself in the head, just to prove some space-karate point.
1/31/2007 9:04 AM
Obviously in the 30th century the word 'invulnerable' means something different than it does now.
(Merriam-Webster says, "Invulnerable - 1: incapable of being wounded, injured, or harmed, 2: immune to or proof against attack)
Perhaps there's some small print after that which says "except against space karate".
1/31/2007 12:32 PM
I think the look on her face says it all: "What a bunch of f---ing morons. THIS is why I'm a lesbian."
1/31/2007 3:54 PM
It looks like George Tuska art to me. Tuscalicious!
1/31/2007 8:38 PM
That's not Princess Projectra, that's Quantum Queen of the Wanderers. This story, from Adventure 375 (the file name says Adventure 347, but that's wrong), features the Legionnaires beating the crap out of each other in a contest to see who can capture the most Wanderers (who have temporarily turned evil). The winner gets to be the mightiest Legionnaire. This issue is the one with Bouncing Boy on the cover as the Mightiest Legionnaire of All! No, really. Art by Win Mortimer. (Apparently Ultra Boy was using his penetra-vision on her instead of keeping up his invulnerability, that must be why he got clocked by Karate Kid.
1/31/2007 9:53 PM
Good thing Bouncing Boy won, too -- he doesn't have an emblem to rip off.
And thanks for the art ID. I was wracking my brains trying to think of when George Tuska drew to LSH.
1/31/2007 9:59 PM
This story, from Adventure 375 (the file name says Adventure 347, but that's wrong)
Well are't YOU Mister Smarty Smart Smartpants. Hmph.
Actually, I somehow mixed up the issue number in between looking at the archive and typing it into Photoshop.
1/31/2007 10:20 PM
Are... are they crying on that cover?
2/01/2007 7:51 AM
Rob - Tuska did the Legion artwork for only a handful of issues (backup stories) in the late 70s and early 80s. I knew right away that was Mortimer art, but what threw me was the picture ID as Adventure 347 (part 2 of the KK/Nemesis Kid/Ferro Lad/Projectra intro story), which was when Curt Swan was still on the art.
Mutt - you'd cry too if you pwn3d by Bouncing Boy, wouldn't you?
Word verification: "chuplax", which is the sound that Karate Kid made when he knocked Ultra Boy unconscious.
2/01/2007 1:54 PM
nimbus -
ultra boy can be invulnerable as long as he likes. as soon as he turns the strength on and swings, though, he gets a space karate chin check.
2/01/2007 7:51 PM
AHA! Although the cover shows Bouncing Boy as the winner, if I remember correctly, it's really Chameleon Boy in disguise. In the next issue, as a result of winning, he hooks up with a princess from another dimension for some tame Beauty & The Beast echoes before being sent back home.
(I bought these back issues for about a buck apiece in the late seventies.)
-Mikesensei
PS, I will never buy the notion that Karate Kid can do more than embarress himself when up against someone with invulnerability. His best kicks and punches would be about as threatening as someone lobbing cotton balls at you or me.
(God, I need to get a life.)
2/02/2007 3:37 PM
The guy chops tanks in half, and even caused a quake by kicking the pavement once.. Hurting an invulerable guy isn't far out there. He even broke through Inertron, basically DC's version of secondary Adamantium and something Superboy had trouble getting out of.
Besides, "Invulerability" usually just means "to conventional weapons" in most comic books.. "Durable" is probably a more accurate term.
4/07/2007 2:32 AM
تريد الحصول على افضل خدمات تنظيف وتعقيم خزانات المياه وانت في جدة لا عليك الا ان تقوم بالتواصل مع افضل شركه تنظيف خزانات بجده بجدة التي تستخدم مواد تنظيف وتعقيم اصلية ومعتمدة وعندها ستجد انك وقعت على الاختيار الصحيح وستحصل على خدمات ممتازة لأن اعمال شركات صيانة الخزانات بجده متنوعة وتشمل الصيانة الشاملة لخزان المياه خاصتك
4/22/2020 9:28 AM
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9/05/2022 7:36 AM
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