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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Romance Finale: It Can Always Get Better

Another Valentine's Day is coming to a close, and before the ISB returns to its regular schedule of people punching each other (as opposed to people punching each other with the express goal of marriage in mind), I'd like to take this opportunity to bring you a message of optimism.

Last year, it was Jimmy Olsen reminding us that no matter how bad your love life may be, you're at least not being forced by your smirking best friend consummating a forced marriage to an amorous gorilla. And this year, I'd like to offer up the counterpoint to that statement.

Even if you, like me, are sitting alone on the most romantic of days polishing off a bottle of gin and singing Bonnie Tyler songs as loud and off-key as humanly possible... Heck, even if you're overweight and so dumb that you can't tell a vial of experimental serum from a bottle of soda and you have the second-most useless power in the entire Legion... It Can Always Get Better.



Bouncing Boy = Pimp





More From the "= Pimp" Series:

| Rex "Metamorpho" Mason |
| Jimmy Olsen |

13 Comments:

Anonymous longtime lurker said...

And this is why Bouncing Boy is ALWAYS my choice for "If you had to be a Legionaire, which one would yoyu chose?"

2/15/2007 12:08 AM

 
Blogger LaRue said...

See, I wouldn't consider Bouncing Boy's power that useless. If you need to clear a room, what's gonna do it faster than a rebounding fat dude?

Granted, against, say, Mordru, he's not gonna be your number one pick, but against just a bunch a thugs, or for crowd control, Bouncing Boy's the man.

2/15/2007 1:27 AM

 
Blogger Evan Waters said...

They actually brought in a bit of Bouncing Boy/Triplicate Girl OTP in the episode of LSH they ran last Saturday.

2/15/2007 2:13 AM

 
Anonymous buttler said...

And yet she didn't rename herself Harem Lass when they got married. What's up with that?

2/15/2007 3:36 AM

 
Blogger Jeff said...

Chuck Taine is not usless! He's perfect for kids' parties!

(And I still want to see him fight Wolverine some day.)

2/15/2007 7:47 AM

 
Blogger PMMJ said...

OK, I give. Who has the most useless power in the Legion?

2/15/2007 7:56 AM

 
Blogger Mike Haseloff said...

Filthy!... But genuinely arousing!

2/15/2007 8:08 AM

 
Anonymous SanctumSanctorumComix said...

In France is Triplicate Girl called:
Ménage à Trois-femme?

If so, that might be the only cool thing about France.

Y'know...besides the whole "wine goes with anything" (even in cereal) philosophy.

~P~
P-TOR

2/15/2007 9:03 AM

 
Blogger Matthew E said...

There's another reason to want to be Bouncing Boy, and it's this:

He's got one of the only super-powers that would actually be fun to use.

Think about that. There are a lot of useful superpowers out there, but how many of them would actually be innately fun?

2/15/2007 9:35 AM

 
Blogger Philip Looney said...

You need some more entries into this catagory.

2/15/2007 10:00 AM

 
Blogger Dwayne "the canoe guy" said...

Even as a kid I was somewhat 'confused' by the dou damsel getting married schtick. Some things I always wondered:
* How long could she stay seperated?
* Could one of her get pregnant and the other one not?
* What would happen to the baby when she joined back up?
* I assume that the baby would go into the correct mom's body when she seperated again, kinda like the orange on her costume.
* If Chuck walked (bounced) out on her, she would never be a single mom.
* We always knew that there was more than kissing going on.
* We need a story where Chuck goes absolutely bonkers and kills Computo for killing 1/3 of Triplicate Girl. Chuck wanted MORE wives.

2/15/2007 10:34 AM

 
Blogger Jacob said...

OK, I give. Who has the most useless power in the Legion?

I don't know who Chris had in mind, but I'd say clearly Luornu herself. C'mon, Arm-Fall-Off lad could split in two, and everyone recognized he was a joke...

Poseurs say "Matter-Eater Lad"-- they know enough to know the name and how silly it is, but not enough to recognize that he's one of, say, five Legionnaires (along with the three -Els and Element Lad) who could destroy a planet.

(Yes, Brainy could destroy one too, but I mean intentionally.)

2/15/2007 2:57 PM

 
Blogger Richelle Mead said...

Wearing black spandex pants and living in sin with a Mary Tyler Moore clone harem is no way to raise a baby.

2/15/2007 5:39 PM

 

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