Romance Special: Could Be Worse
You know, I may be sitting here alone on Valentine's Day with a handful of candy that my mother bought me and a half-bottle of whiskey trying to erase the knowledge that somewhere out there, Larry the Cable Guy Valentines actually exist, but hey:
I realize that this warning comes a little late if you've been following my Master Plan for Romance, but that's the sort of thing that happens when Tree-Climbing goes wrong. Next thing you know you're in Fred Flintstone's outfit, married to an ape, suddenly finding out your best friend's got a side job as a witch doctor. You know my life.
Still, it'd be a step up from Terry Long.
Happy Valentine's Day, Everybody!