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Sunday, October 22, 2006

Bonus Content Update!

I'm blowin' up all over the place!

Yes, the all-new CRACKED Magazine #2 is now available at finer bookstores and seedy truckstop magazine racks everywhere, and alongside new articles by Maddox, Mike Nelson, Michael Kupperman, Jay Pinkerton, and a bunch of other funny people, there's something else that might spark your interest.

As you can see by the cover, the new issue contains article about the Best (and Worst) in Christmas Comedies on page 70 that, along with a few bits in the Men's Health parody, was written by their newest Contributing Editor, Chris Sims. And I think we can all agree that that guy is pretty awesome.

Yes, you read it right: I'm writing for an actual, honest-to-God print magazine, and they are paying me to do so. I'm pretty sure I got the job solely for my willingness to watch Adam Sandler's wretched Eight Crazy Nights and write a review of it, but if I can keep one person from experiencing the sheer horror of an animated movie about how Adam Sandler is totally awesome at basketball with a tacked-on holiday miracle crammed in for good measure, it'll all be worth it.

Even stranger, I actualy refrain from writing about comics for the entire magazine! But fear not, loyal readers!

For that sort of thing, simply click on these very words and read my Special Spooktoberfest Edition of "Queer Eye On Comics" over at Prism, where I not only use the phrase "Nazi Vampire," but also do my best to explain why the first appearance of the current Union Jack in the pages of Captain America comes off a little gay.

HINT: It has a lot to do with Joey asking Cap if he wants to wrestle within five seconds of meeting him.


Blogger SallyP said...

Congratulations, Chris. There is such a feeling of accomplishment in getting paid for something that you like to do...and do so well. Have some milk and cookies.

10/23/2006 9:56 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

actually I think they might have ret-conned Union Jack into being gay in the last citizen V mini-series. I didn't read it, just something I heard somewhere.

And thinking on it might be the older Union Jack. But I'm pretty sure at least one Union Jack is gay now.

10/23/2006 12:18 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The second Union Jack, the one that fought with the Invaders in Dubya-Dubya Two, was gay, if memory serves. I can't remember his name to save my life, but he's Spitfire's brother, Lord First Union Jack's son and he was buddies with a guy named Roger Aubery. Second Union Jack and Roger favored appeasing Hitler before the war, though I think the invasion of Poland changed their mind. They were hanging out in Germany at the time and were prevented from leaving after realizing what a jackass Hitler was. Then, Aubery was experimented on, made in Dyna-Mite or some such (tiny super commando) and SUJ was The Mighty Destroyer. Brainwashed, too

The Invaders saved them and fixed the brainwashing, and made Dyna-Mite normal size again. Amazing technology in the '40s. Anyhow, SUJ took up the mantle and Aubery became TMD. SUJ also gained lightning powers of some kind after being zotted by Thor (who was under the thrall of Hitler and a time-traveling, pre-armor, post-facial scarring Doctor Doom). Sometime in the '50s, SUJ died in a car wreck, of all things, and there ya go.

I forget when he was retconned into being gay, though, as I only heard of that after I quit reading comics. Brian Falsworth, I think...I remember thinking UJ was the bee's knees when I was a kid, as I'm partial to non-powered superheroes in flag drag, and he had mystical powers at some point with the Black Knight and Captain Britain. Now, I guess he's just a bad-ass, which is cool with me.

I like the new series, and it's striking to me to think the best stuff Marvel is putting out have nothing at all to do with Civil War.

10/23/2006 1:13 PM

Blogger jonni said...

First Church, now Sims - can nothing stop the mighty comics blogosphere?!?Q?Q!!?


10/23/2006 1:19 PM

Blogger Brandon Bragg said...

I will now go out and buy my first issue of Cracked since the last copy I got back in 6th grade.

Congratulations, professional writer-dude!

10/23/2006 2:24 PM

Blogger Tim said...

Fucking awesome. Congrats. By the way, Chris, I'm going to link to your blog from my lamer-than-yours blog. It's new.

10/23/2006 8:22 PM

Blogger Jim Shelley said...

Saw this at a Barnes and Nobles! Congratulations Chris - you've really done well!

10/24/2006 6:16 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations! (Longtime reader, haphazard commenter.)

Isn't that Captain America story the one Paul Grist reworked in Jack Staff?

10/25/2006 2:59 AM

Blogger Chris Sims said...

Yes it is!

Well, sort of, anyway. Jack Staff was originally a Union Jack proposal that Marvel rejected--although God knows why, it's incredible--but it ties in a little bit more to the original UJ and Baron Blood than it does to the Stern/Byrne version.

I think.

10/25/2006 8:39 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats on Cracked, Chris!

11/06/2006 7:06 PM


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