Random Ass Monday

Today's post was going to be on porn comics and why they make the world a better place, but after a lengthy consideration of the material, I decided I needed to do more research. Alone. Far from prying eyes. So instead, what you get is another sub-par internet diary entry, which I'm sure you're all just foaming at the mouth to read. I mean, really, who the hell am I?

Chris Sims, that's who, and don't you damn well forget it.

MOVING ON.

Apparently today's the Worst Day of the Year, but being as a new issue of Outsiders didn't come out, I can't see how that's possible.

Still, it's a theory supported by a couple of facts.

-Tonight's episode of Static Shock guest stars Shaq. Static's rough at the best of times, but this one has to be the worst. Shaq, of course, finds out Static's identity, which sets the precedent for every guest star (including the whole frigg'n team of real-life basketball players who are actually superheroes later on) to find out.

-I was reading through a bunch of random blogs today and found one in Portugese. The only word I could understand was "Xuxa." Xuxa, as you might know, is a Playboy model turned children's show host from Brazil who was briefly popular in the mid-90s, and it's fairly depressing that I know that much about her.

-Despite its designation in my head as New Content Day, this Monday hasn't produced a new Strong Bad Email OR a new Dollar Movie Review! And it's going to be Catwoman this week!

-The guy who has all the Woggles mp3s won't stay online for five frigg'n minutes so I can get 'em!

The Worst Day of the Year hypothesis is further supported by the Fantastic Four trailer, which I'm probably the last comic book store employee in North America to see. My reaction was pretty much the same as the guys over at Penny Arcade, but the movie footage aside, that's the worst trailer I've seen since the Michelle Trachtenberg ice skating movie. I mean, after telling us that they'll be changed "4 ever," they feel it necessary to let us know that "one will be bad."

When I was in high school, my English teacher asked the class what the main message of All Quiet on the Western Front was. I went for the whole brevity thing and answered: "War is bad." Well congratulations, 11th Grade Chris, someone else has usurped your record of worst adjective use ever.

To quote Penny Arcade one more time: "The whole thing looks like it was made on a dare during second lunch."

But today wasn't all bad. I had lunch with Scott , and I'm sure you'll be thrilled to learn that the plans for Boston Legal Prequel Party proceed apace. Be on the lookout for the official website later this week.

In other news, I caught the new Hot Hot Heat single today, and it's pretty rockin'. Tug introduced me to them last year, along with a ton of other bands. It's almost at the point where I think Tug will be remembered as a sort of musical Johnny Appleseed, roaming the countryside in a Tom Waits shirt tossing mix tapes hither and yon.

A few days ago I was driving to work and there was a car stopped in the lane next to me. There was a couple in the front seat and I could tell they were singing along to something, complete with synchronous, choreographed moves. I wondered about it until I saw the baby in the back seat and realized he was moving his arms along with the couple's motions. It made me think about how I'll roll down the street with my friends singing along to The Chronic. I don't know why, but I found the whole thing hilarious.

Hopefully, the malaise of the day will pass, since it's even gotten to Melanie. I was talking to her earlier and she told me she was worried about her class:

"The pie practical exam is on wednesday and don't automatically say yay just because it has the word pie in it, because I'm incredibly worried about it and he made it very very hard."

I think that about sums it up.