HeroesCon '05: Liquor Makes a Man Mean

Yesterday at about this time I was drunk and angry, and I'm not sure if I've got any friends left. You'd think I'd learn from past experience, but here I am. I ended up going up to the room I was crashing in earlier than anyone else and scribbling five pages of vitriolic spite onto the hotel notepad. I thought about adapting it into an ISB post, but really, it's better for everyone if I just leave it crammed into the envelope.

I did my drinking as the cap to my day at HeroesCon, where I ended up selling one (1) copy of The New Adventures of Jack Kirby and one (1) copy of All Part of the Master Plan, netting myself a grand total of $2.75. Not exactly what I'd call an unmitigated success, but hey, the weekend was young, and at least SOMEONE bought it.

I ended up drawing up rules for a HeroesCon drinking game to be played in the con proper (see a guy dressed as a pirate? Do a shot!), but alas, I couldn't get my drink on until I was well and surly.

The day did have its moments, though. I got to meet James Kochalka and get a sketch of Computerfist, and I'm happy to report that he came off every bit as charmingly strange in person as he does in his comics and CDs. I also got a great sketch of Owly and Friends from Andy Runton, who was also nice enough to take a copy of Master Plan when I gave it to him.

I also got to meet and get a sketch from Scott Kurtz, who really is one of the good guys. He drew Conan for me, and also took a copy of Master Plan. We are now Internet Buddies 4-Ever.

Unless he does the sensible thing and throws it into a drawer and promptly forgets about it.

Speaking of Internet Buddies, one of the highlights of the day was when Radical C was harrangued by a guy who probably has access to Wizard Spells of at least 6th level. Seriously, if you've never seen a man in a tunic take a knee and start lecturing a man with advice about how he's never going to make it and how he should just give up and do pages online to hook the "college kids" who will subsequently demand "dead tree editions," I can highly reccomend it. It'll brighten your day right up.

But the true highlight, the one that I want to write a folk song about so that kids in the future will learn about it, was a conversation I witnessed between a fan and a pro, whose names I won't use here.

PRO: ... So what I'm saying is, I don't really like to do con sketches. I mean, if you want me to draw you something, email me and we'll set up a commission piece. But if you want a con sketch, then I'll give you a con sketch, but it is what it is. And it'll be a con sketch.

FAN: Well, can I get a con sketch then?

PRO: Sure, sure. But let me ask you... how much do you want to pay me?

FAN: Uh... twenty bucks?

PRO: Fine. Who do you want?

FAN: Hawkeye.

PRO: What?!

FAN: Hawkeye? From the Avengers?

PRO: Ff. I don't even know what that guy looks like.