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Monday, June 13, 2005

If You Loved Me, You'd Bring Me Biscuits Today

Almost burning the house down and spending a week covered in fleas, here's the reason I should never be left alone for a week: In the past seven days, I have had five meals consisting of Fried Chicken. And what's more, I've eaten at Church's, KFC, Popeye's and Bojangles (twice!).

Oddly enough, the chicken itself is just a secondary concern; I'm just in it for the biscuits. But still, you can't just go into Bojangles and order a plate of biscuits without their delicious cajun-style chicken, so I wouldn't be surprised if I had a heart attack in the middle of this post.

Therefore, in the interest of both conserving my energy and focusing my chi to help my beleaguered arteries, I have decided to compose a series of fried chicken-related haikus this evening. Maybe they'll inspire you to have some. Or if you're Rob Lindsey, perhaps you'll feel compelled to write a biscuit-related song cycle. Either way, enjoy, won't you?

Bucket of chicken:
Meat and bone in a neat stack.
I ate all the skin.

Bojangles' are best.
But Popeye's are pretty good.
Biscuits are awesome.

Once, I became parched.
Sixty-four-ounce Mega Jug.
Now I have to pee.

Parfait in buckets:
Dessert. Why did I bother?
Biscuits are better

Now it's dinner time.
What do I want? God help me!
More Bojangles, please.



Blogger autryman said...

Two other chickens that you should try are Wal-Marts Honey Bar-B-Q nuggets and Publix fried chicken.

Thanks for the poem. Who says this blog ain't cultured.

6/14/2005 8:18 AM

Blogger Phil Looney said...

Beautiful man, just beautiful. And I'm very ecited about a Rob Lindsey song cycle about fried chicken.

6/14/2005 10:13 AM

Blogger J. Kern said...

i do not know of this "Bojangles" of which you speak ... but i DO KNOW that Church's('s) biscuits are the best biscuits i have ever eaten in my entire life. And, barring the creation of biscuits made out of equal parts Scarlett Johanssen's voice, Natalie Portman's brain and Salma Hayek's butt, i'm pretty sure they shall remain so for all the days of my life.

6/14/2005 10:14 PM


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