What Are You People Googling?!

So due to the massive traffic that Jim's hilarious Villains United Parody recieved, he assured me that I'd be getting "around 5,000 hits," and tantalized me with the prospect of Gail Simone reading my opinions on, say, why Martin Cove is the greatest living actor in America.

I promptly told Jim that he was crazy, and that I'd be lucky if I got five. And judging by the fact that yesterday's update--The New Reader Friendly Jump On Now installment, in case you missed it!--only has three comments, I feel like my instincts were on the right track.

Especially since one comment's from Phil and the another's from me.

But I finally gave in to curiosity and installed a hit tracker last night. It's the same one Mark uses over on his blog, and since he's a lot funnier than I am, I figured I'd follow his lead.

Uh, you should still buy my book, though.

Anyway, I installed it last night at around two in the morning and checked it when I got up this morning at nine, and I was pretty surprised to find that I'd gotten around a 140 hits.

I was also pretty surprised to see that 93% of them had been from Google Image Searches for Marla Sokoloff. Now don't get me wrong, Marla Sokoloff is an absolutely beautiful girl who appeared on "the practice" and Desperate Housewives, and I've GISed her a time or two myself. But considering that I don't actually mention her name in the article in question, and the picture's a link to another site entirely, it's a little odd that I'm Google's #1 Result.

A few other GIS results of note: "old kung-fu pictures" and "Count Dante," obviously, but my favorite of the whole lot is "Truth Fist," which leads to this image. Also, for some inexplicable reason, "bratwurst."

Now the keyword searches, however, is where it gets really weird.

You wouldn't believe me on most of these if I told you, so here's a screenshot. Apparently my liberal use of profanity has done a lot for my online standing, and I'm also not the only person who remembers Xuxa.

Strung together, they seem to reveal a lot about the type of people that are stumbling onto the ISB. For instance, just below where the screenshot cuts off is--I swear--a series that goes "sketch her gwendolyn underwear ass" which can only be a reference to the First Reason I Might Get Sued by Marvel.

Of course, that's nothing compared to what Scott gets over on his site I mean, he once got a hit off a google search for "Ghost Rider Supervisor Columbia."

I'm pretty sure he's going to have business cards printed up with that on them. I just wonder what happens when he has to report to Ghost Rider Corporate.