Hot Hot Heat

Close your eyes. Give me your hand. Can you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? Do you feel the same... am I only dreaming? Or is this burning because it's A HUNDRED AND FRIGG'N THREE DEGREES OUTSIDE?!

Here's what it was like working at the shop today:


Frigg'n Sweltering. 

The shop is pretty big. In terms of square footage, we're probably one of the biggest comic book stores in the country. Which also means that we have one of the biggest metal roofs, and considering that Columbia is, oh, let's say about three miles away from the surface of the Sun, it can get a mite hot in there. Around August, you can come in and find us splayed out behind the counter, praying for a just and benevolent God to end His firey wrath.

Is it any wonder I'm ready to crack at any minute and throttle faux-Jerry-Onlys to within an inch of their lives?

And the internet isn't helping. Between taking a survey last week that went from "Which of these television channels are you aware of?" to "Hey, did you know the Mythbusters are hosting Shark Week this year?!" and the increasingly strange referrals that are leading people here, I've been reduced to quoting the Bangles. Let's take a look at today's search engine highlights, won't you?

Google: "all star batman and robin" vale underwear - Considering in my discussion of this issue, I talked about Vicki Vale tarting around in her panties (oh the hits I'll get off that phrase), this one isn't entirely unwarranted. Still: Creepy.

Yahoo: "asshole milkshake" - If you know what this is, it's probably the worst thing you've ever heard of, unless you routinely go looking for things like that.

Google: jerry springer amputate four limbs - You, my friend, require more help than even Uncle Chris can provide.

And my personal favorite:

Google Images: naughty spiderman

I've always said that the mission of the ISB is to lead me to total internet dominance, but... not like this... not like this.