A Public Service Announcement

In the past few years of working at a comic book store, it's come to my attention that some of you out there just don't know how you should behave in public. But don't fret, children, even if your parents were too busy huffing ether to raise you properly, Uncle Chris is here to straighten you out.

If you're thinking about coming into a comic shop, please don't insist on wearing your sunglasses at all times, even when you're indoors. At night. In the dead of winter. Your future is not so bright that you have to wear shades. By all accounts, your future is dismal.

Also, don't wander around the store shouting things like: "Jeremy, you have to come to DragonCon this year. They have a costume contest, Jeremy, where girls dress like Dawn!" in the most nasal and annoying voice possible.

If you do, the people who work at that store are going to laugh at you.

But above all, for the love of God, do not come to that store first thing in the morning, go to the bathroom, and use the sink to wet your hair in an attempt to look like Misfits frontman Jerry Only. It's a look that you can't pull off, and the fact that you made the attempt in a comic book store bathroom with your sunglasses STILL ON is just creepy and weird.

And not only will the staff mock you, but they will want to never stop hitting you.