Silver-Age Tech Support: A Sizeable Problem
Hello, and thank you for contacting the Will Magnus Institute of Super-Heroic Sciences! Over the course of your career as a costumed crimefighter, you may (or rather, definitely will) encounter situations that appear to be significantly out of the realm of accepted probability.
Don't worry! This is completely normal.
In an effort to help, the Institute has compiled a list of common solutions to these extraordinary problems in an effort to provide you with technical support during your various metaheroic crises.
PROBLEM: My costume has unexpectedly gained sentience and is now attacking me in an attempt to leave me stranded at a significantly reduced size after a string of petty larcenies.
CAUSES: This problem is most likely related to the fact that your costume is composed of extemely improbable threads woven from the core of a White Dwarf star. It's highly likely that your costume has not gained sentience, but is under the control of a larger chunk of the star which, in a rare example of completely inert matter spontaneously evolving into a higher species, has itself developed a malevolent intelligence and seeks to rule the world.
SOLUTION: Before permanently resolving your costume issues through the application of infrared light, a magnifying glass, and a stick of dynamite, break into the home of an aging middleweight boxer and have him punch you repeatedly and strip you naked.
If problem persists, try a chair.