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Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Week In Ink: 9-20-06

As relatively astute readers will know, ever since I came back from Vacation Week, I've been kicking off each installment of my weekly comics reviews with a panel of Kick-To-The-Face Action!

Normally, this is the week where I'd rely on Warren Ellis and Stuart Immonen's Nextwave to supply the goods, but surprising the hell out of everyone, nobody gets kicked in the face this month! It does, however, include a shot of The Captain chin-checking Rorkanu of the Dim Dimension with a bathroom sink, but as awesome as that is, it's not a kick to the face.

And around here, we still have standards.


Nah, just kiddin'.

Ah, sweet, sweet Lady Violence. You're always there when I need you.

Now then, BEHOLD! My skewed and potentially libelous remarks concerning my comic book purchases for the third week of September, 2006!


52: Week 20: As much as I love the stuff with the Emerald Eye of Ekron--which is developed here in such a forehead-slappingly obvious moment that it's a wonder we've never seen it before--I've gotta say: Pope Lobo is doing absolutely nothing for me, even if he does have an awesome coat and a hat he apparently bought at Hot Topic. Admittedly, it's got its moments, like Adam Strange pulling a Han Solo and Animal Man finally getting around to using his super-powers, but all things being equal, I'd much rather read about... pretty much anyone else that's been in this book so far.

As for the backup, Kevin Nowlan and Mark Waid do a fine job recapping Adam Strange's origin. Still, though, is it just me, or do the "Essential Storylines" listed for each one of these tend to veer more towards "What do we have in print right now?" It could just be because I don't care for The Man of Two Worlds, but Rann-Thanagar War should only be considered "essential reading" if you're being punished for something. Trust me: You can get everything you need to know from two issues of JLA, Planet Heist, and some Mike Barr Brave and the Bold.

Astonishing X-Men #17: It should come as no surprise to anyone that this issue of Astonishing shipped with a completely unnecessary variant cover, but this time, it's actually even more unncessary than usual: It's a sketch cover. Of a cover that--while I think is great--is mostly white space. So, yeah. Regardless, it's another absolutely fantastic issue from Whedon and Cassaday of what is consistently one of the most enjoyable comics on the stands. Whedon has a gift for delivering these great, fist-pumping "All right!" moments, and while there's more than a few of them to get you excited in this issue, there are very few things I've ever seen in comics that beat the sheer excitement and anticipation generated by that last page. Excellent, excellent stuff.

Birds of Prey #98: If there's one thing Gail Simone excels at--aside from, y'know, writing all those really good comics--it's those great one-liners she drops into her scripts. They're great little jokes, and with the Karate Kid and Call of Cthulhu references in the pages of The All-New Atom, I'd assumed they were being written solely for my enjoyment. This time out, though, there's one that's even better. I won't spoil it, but I will say this: It'd be perfect if it had the entire bit of profanity in it.

Catwoman #59: Last week, I was having a conversation about this book with the Esteemed Dr. Kunka where he mentioned that Will Pfeifer is one of those guys that has this encyclopedic film knowledge rattling around in his head, and he seems to be having a great time putting it to use for Film Freak, writing with a sense of fun that spills over to the reader even when he's, you know, smashing acidic fruit into the faces of innocent passers-by and--in this issue's two-fisted climax--revealing the one immutable truth of comic books on the last page. More to the matter at hand, though, this is the issue where the identity of Catwoman's... oh, the hell with it, I'm just going to say it: Catwoman's babydaddy is revealed, and while it certainly makes sense, the reveal itself feels a little awkward and soap-operatic. If I may be allowed to dabble in Pfeifer's brand of movie references, I'll just say that while it's better than the mandatory love scene of any mid-90s action movie--your Fair Game, that sort of thing--it's not that much better.

Checkmate #6: I usually try to avoid explicit spoilers in my reviews on the off chance that you people have better things to do with your Wednesday nights than get through twenty funnybooks, but there's no getting around it here: This issue features the return of Rick Flagg, and I'm honestly not sure how I feel about that. Aside from my general distaste from characters returning from the dead (with the notable exception of Nemesis and a handful of others), Flagg had one of the best deaths in in a book that was filled with great deaths, and I'm not sure that there's anything left to be said about the character after what was a perfect ending for him. Still, Greg Rucka's one of my favorite writers and the Suicide Squad's one of my favorite concepts, so I'm more than willing to give it a chance.

Civil War #4: At this point, you've probably read far more reviews of this one than you ever needed to--including Jake's in-depth examination over at Ye Olde Comick Booke Blogge, which I agree with on most every point--but allow me to be the last one to say it: This is the one where this thing completely fell apart. First off, have the good people at Marvel Comics learned nothing from the past fifteen years? Seriously, a Thor Clone? That's what you've got? Look, clones are always bad news, and even moreso when they are clones of gods that don't make any sense. Admittedly, I have no trouble believing that Reed Richards could crack the DNA of what the Official Handbook would term "an extradimensional being once worshipped on Earth as a god" and grow a new one in a jar somewhere, but what exactly is the point? The Thor Clone--or "Thhor" as he'd be known in crappy Star Wars novel parlance--doesn't seem to demonstrate any super-powers whatsoever other than a mad-on to kill a minority character so that the creators can wedge in the symbolism of a thirty-foot black man wrapped in chains. The hammer's a piece of technology, and considering there's a scene where Reed drills into his head--presumably to fix those pesky murder-vibes--we can rule out invulnerability, too. I'm not even sure why that guy talks in a different font than everybody else.

Then there's the problem that most everyone save for Captain America acts at least slightly out of character. Nighthawk quitting the team, that's fine. Cable? I might not like the character, but there's no reason for him to quit, especially in light of what's going on in his own book. And as for Cassie Lang, you could make the argument that she's come to the sudden realization that having the ability to grow makes you a larger target when Reed and Tony unleash their Super-Murderweapons on their best friends, but she's a lot braver than that in Young Avengers. And in one of the worst moments of the series so far, we have the last-page reveal of Marvel's Suicide Squad, which includes Bullseye, who once murdered a church full of nuns.

Spider-Man spends part of this issue slowly coming to the realization that maybe he's been on the wrong side all this time. Well, Peter, as a public service, here's how you can tell you've picked the wrong side: WHEN YOUR TEAM INCLUDES A GUY WHO MURDERED A BUNCH OF NUNS. Hope that clears it up.

Even with that, though, there are a few good parts. McNiven's art, of course, is fantastic as always, and as strange as it may be, Hercules is great--but as I've said before, he's pretty much the only super-hero I ever want to see fighting other super-heroes on a regular basis. Even Sue's letter to Reed, though, while it's one of the high points of the issue, is soaked in Millar's standard over-the-top tough-guy dialogue ("Oh, right, WE HAD THE SEX.") Still, this issue was supposed to be the turning point, and, well, it looks like it's turning pretty grim from here.


Conan #32: I'll be honest: I'm not a big fan of the Adventures of Kid Conan-style stories that Kurt Busiek and Greg Ruth have been doing that detail his early life in Cimmeria. This one, however, is one of the best Conan stories I've ever read.

I have no choice but to summarize the plot here, so if you want to experience it entirely for yourself, feel free to just take my word for it that this issue has everything I want to see from the dark-haired, sullen-eyed Cimmerian--only made almost immeasurably more badass by the fact that he's a teenager when he does it all--and skip down to the next review.

Still here? Okay, so here's what Young Conan does in this issue: He wakes up, pleasures two comely wenches, snaps a bull's neck with his bare hands, and then punches a man so hard that one hit kills him.. And that's all in one day. Like I said, it's the combination of over-the-top brutality done in Kurt Busiek's fantastic style, a Gandalf-esque one-eyed sorcerer, and a plot that reveals the hidden origins of the war with Aquilonia that drives Conan to leave his native land that all add up to being exactly what I want out of this book. It is, quite simply, a fantastic piece of comics.

But hey, what did I expect? It's Conan.

Dwight T. Albatross's The Goon Noir #1: Fresh from the letters pages of Eric Powell's The Goon comes Dwight T. Albatross, one of the most entertaining and goofy bits in a comic made up almost entirely of highly entertaining and goofy bits, and I can't get enough of the guy. The concept behind the book, of course, is different creators tackling Powell's characters--including, you'll be glad to hear, the Little Unholy Bastards--and with folks like Patton Oswalt, Mike Ploog, Bill Morrison, and Ryan Sook (among others) contributing their talent to four black-and-white gag strips, the end result is a very fun read. Plus, there's a centerfold in this one, and, well, you're going to want it.

Exiles #86: You know, it takes a very talented person to write an Elisie Dee that isn't incredibly annoying, but with a single piece of dialogue on page three, Tony Bedard proves himself more than equal to the task. Like I said last month, I'm not a regular Exiles reader, but a story featuring almost nothing but alternate reality Wolverines fighting each other and the berserker rage we've all been waiting for since Origin #3, this one pushes just the right buttons to get me to jump on for a couple issues, and I was more than pleased with the results. Seriously, give it a shot, it's a great little read.

Iron Man #12: I'd usually be a lot more excited about an issue where Iron Man battles his own specialized suits gone rogue, but the whole thing here seems oddly jumbled and crammed together for the purpose of getting to the Civil War reference on the last page. It could just be that I read it after reading Civil War, but the whole idea of Tony losing control of his armor and then having the Avengers battle it out while he cracks jokes over the comm-link doesn't quite strike the chord it's going for when it's sitting in the shadow of Iron Man accidentally killing one of his friends and trying to punch Captain America's jaw off. And while it's nice that Charles and Daniel Knauf are keeping Warren Ellis's Extremis as a viable plot point and driving story element, the fact that it allows for Tony to be revived after being clinically dead for thirty-seven minutes doesn't sit well with me either; an immortal Iron Man doesn't really allow for a sense of danger. It's not a terrible comic, but I'm rapidly losing my taste for any Iron Man story that does not include the words "Armor" or "Wars" in the title, and at least one appearance by Fin Fang Foom. Could just be me, though.

Nextwave: Agents of HATE #8: Were I a lesser man, I would use my position as the Internet's Leading Expert on Elsa Bloodstone to inform you all that the flashbacks to her childhood in this issue are wildly contradictory to what happens in her own mini-series. Considering, however, that This Is Nextwave, a book where Ellie's seen battling a city full of Mindless Ones, some of whom are re-enacting West Side Story, I'm willing to make allowances for it on the grounds of total and complete radness. Plus, that second flashback is golden, son. Absolutely golden.

Robin #154: Adam Beechen and Freddie Williams II continue their absolutely phenomenal run on what may end up being the best solo teen super-hero comic since Impulse. Admittedly, that's a lot of qualifiers, but the way things are going now, Beechen's nearly-perfect Batman-in-miniature style stories and WIlliams's sharp, energetic pencils are progressing to the point where there as good as anything else on the market. What caught my eye specifically in this issue--aside from Tim Drake's great wheels-within-wheels master plan for foiling a gang of kidnappers--was the great string of fight sequences that Williams draws, from Tim's Clark Kentish attempts at feigned clumsiness to a great moment when he decides to stop playing around with the bad guys. It's fun, it's clever, and it's easily one of the best book's DC's publishing. No joke.

Runaways #20: And speaking of teen hero books that I can't get enough of, we have Runaways. I was, of course, bummed out to hear that Brian K. Vaughan and regular artist Adrian Alphona were leaving the book a couple weeks ago, and while the news that Joss Whedon was taking over writing was certainly good news, I'll still be sad to see them go. No surprise, I'm sure, since I sing their praises as loudly as possible every time this book comes out. As for this issue, Mike Norton does a fine job with pencils, and while it's not my favorite issue of the run, it's certainly entertaining, especially seeing as it contains one of the best uses of Vaughan's signature clever wordplay.

Shadowpact #5: Hey, look! It's Tim Drake's dead ex-girlfriend! I'd completely forgotten about her! Anyway, it's another fun issue of Supernatural Action from Bill Willingham and Steve Scott, and while I wouldn't call it remarkable, it's certainly got its moments: The magical prison run by Coldrake, a well-done action sequence with Ragman, and of course: Blue Devil's Awesome Beard. That thing is unstoppable.

Superman #656: It might be a bad sign that I'm way more excited about the fact that there are word balloons on the cover than I actually am about the contents of the comic, but to be fair, I frigg'n love word balloons on the cover. Inside, though, there is one nice thing, and that's a further explanation of how the idea of Superboy works in the post-Infinite Crisis DC Universe. It's a concept that works out a lot better than I thought it was going to--despite the fact that I like the Silver Age stories, I think the concept behind Superboy is fundamentally flawed and really doesn't work in the current DC Universe--it's still not as good as being completely rid of it.

Union Jack #1: Need a reason to read this one? I'll give you three:


That's right: The French Art of Foot-Fighting is once again putting boot-to-face in the Marvel Universe. Beyond that, though, I've been looking forward to this ever since UJ made his comeback in Brubaker's Captain America, and while I wasn't a huge fan of Christos Gage's Deadshot mini-series (mostly, I expect, due to my distaste for Deadshot's costume at the time and my affection for the John Ostrander mini from the late 80s), he and penciller Mike Perkins are a perfect fit for this one. It's a great little story of super-heroes battling super-terrorists, and if the first issue's any indication, it's going to be a highly entertaining series.

Wetworks #1: It should come as no surprise to anyone that I'm ridiculously excited about the Wildstorm relaunch, and while I was a fan of WildCATS and Gen13 in my youth and StormWatch and The Authority as I got older, I've never once read a single issue of Wetworks. Even so, Mike Carey wrote my absolute favorite run on Hellblazer, and he's got a lot of cred built up with me as a result, so I'm willing to take a chance on this one. As for how it works out, well, to be honest, the first fifteen pages did very little for me, but once the team gets together and gets their mission, things start to pick up quickly, and by the end of it, I'm pretty intrigued about where it's going. I'm looking forward to the next issue, and for someone coming in with no expectations, that's a good way to end up.

X-Factor #11: Sadly, this issue does not open with Jamie Madrox finding himself in peculiar romantic entanglements, but since we got that last issue, we should probably be just be thankful and move on. Regardless, it's another entertaining installment of the most solid and entertaining Peter David book I've ever read, and while there's a little too much (read: any) Quicksilver in it for my tastes, it's good stuff.

X-Men: First Class #1: Between this and Agents of Atlas, I'm pretty excited about Jeff Parker, and since I've got fond memories of reading through reprints of early X-Men stories when I was a kid--back when I formed the opinion that the Vanisher has what may be the worst costume of the sixties--it was a pretty natural choice for me to jump onto his take on in-continuity stories of the original team's early days, and I was not disappointed. To be honest, I could take or leave the plot, seeing as it features the X-Men heading to Antartica to peacefully resolve a conflict with a ten-eyed plant monster, but Parker excels at the characterizations in this one. The whole thing's narrated through a letter that Iceman's writing home to his parents, and as he goes through neatly-packaged introductions of each character, they all come off as extremely likeable--even the Angel, whom I usually hate. It's fun, and it's a great concept, but the only problem is that--in theory, at least--it's attempting to fill a void that was already filled by Millar's early issues of Ultimate X-Men, only sticking to established continuity rather than updating the whole shebang to a modified version of the original Claremont run. Regardless, it's a fun read, and entirely kid-friendly, by the way.


The Batman Chronicles v.2: Finally, a second affordable collection of chronologically-ordered Golden Age Batman stories, much to the delight of... well, it's pretty much just me and Brandon at Random Panels who wanted this. Seriously, though, as clunky as they can be sometimes, those Golden Age stories are mostly nothing but Batman punching gangsters right in the mouth, and if nothing else, it's always fun to go back and see what elements of a character's past have endured to the prese--HOLY CRAP BATMAN JUST PUT A TIGER IN THE FULL NELSON!!

God bless you, Golden Age


Anonymous Dorkimus Prime said...

Why you gotta be so black-and-white on the nun-killing issue, Chris?

9/22/2006 4:17 AM

Blogger Nimbus said...

Yeah, dem nuns deserve-ed to die, ah tell ya.

And that last picture's gonna be doing the rounds, I bet. I mean, taking a tiger from behind?!?

I bet Robin was jealous.

9/22/2006 4:52 AM

Blogger Brandon said...

Damn you Sims! I usually base my purchases on your reviews. You haven't failed me yet. But why did so many awesome books have to come out this week?!!

Next time you're only allowed to give bad reviews.

9/22/2006 6:37 AM

Anonymous Christopher said...

I'm glad Exiles is good; that's one of the few comics my local supermarket gets, so I can follow it easily (I live far from the comics shop and have no car)

But here's my question: There was a Batroc the Leaper story that didn't involve anybody getting kicked in the face?

9/22/2006 8:02 AM

Anonymous iain said...

That batman/tiger image makes me think of achewood, but I'm not sure why.

9/22/2006 8:15 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Batman loves him some pu... cat!

9/22/2006 8:42 AM

Anonymous Harpo said...

Count me in as the 3rd fan of the "Batman Chronicles". Fun stories at a great price and they're in color!!! Come on, what more could you want? Everyone go buy one..

9/22/2006 9:36 AM

Blogger R.Nav said...

Gail has allready gone on line and said the original line was submitted in the script w/ the profanity bit as a %&*#. It was trunicated in the editing, as we all get the joke anyway :)

9/22/2006 9:54 AM

Blogger Steven said...

I think I've been reading your blog too much. As soon as I saw the Captain **** use a sink as weapon, I thought, "Ah, that's what Chris is going to open his review column with."

Well, that or the hysterical panel of Robin's Clark Kentish boot to the crotch.

9/22/2006 10:47 AM

Blogger Greg said...

Yeah, I'm a HUGE fan of the Batman Chronicles. Such gloriously goofy comics.

9/22/2006 11:12 AM

Blogger Chris Sims said...

Batroc--the ISB's Patron Frenchman--actually does kick Union Jack square in the jaw in that issue, but I'd already written the "Three Reasons" joke before I'd gone looking for a kick in Nextwave, and, well, see above for commentary on my alleged standards.

9/22/2006 1:17 PM

Anonymous Phil said...

Ironically given your praise for Joss Whedon, he did a whole TV series with a hero famous for killing loads of nuns when he was villainous.

9/22/2006 2:11 PM

Blogger Rohan Williams said...

Count me in as a Batman Chronicles lover, too.
It's really fascinating to see how it all began, and the idea of having every appearance in chronological order in trades- while completely impractical and impossible during our lifetimes- is quite cool in theory.

9/22/2006 2:20 PM

Anonymous Charlie Anders said...

I'm going to have to check out Robin now, blast it!

9/22/2006 3:56 PM

Blogger thedeadpenguin said...

You know, issues 52 and 53, as well as parts of Grand Guignol from Robinson's Starman should really have been in the essential Adam Strange reading list, too.

Word verification: yqkezi - Fifth-Dimensional Yakuza.

9/22/2006 5:06 PM

Blogger Chris Sims said...

DeadPenguin: You're right, those are good. And they're right before the Space Cabby story, too!

9/22/2006 5:16 PM

Blogger tomthedog said...

You make me so glad I don't read Civil War, or any other Big Two crossover event for that matter. I saw that last page on Ye Olde Comick Blogge -- not just Bullseye, but frickin' VENOM?? WOW, is that a stupid, stupid idea. Way to go, Iron Man. Why is Marvel trying to make everyone hate all of their characters?

the most solid and entertaining Peter David book I've ever read

Allow me to proselytize: not to dismiss X-Factor, which is very good, but I have to assume you can say this only because you've never read David's run on Incredible Hulk, which I consider one of the best extended runs by one writer on any Big Two book ever.

9/22/2006 8:48 PM

Anonymous Matt said...

So do we call Batman's hold the Batsterlock? Probably, I think we can all agree, not.

9/22/2006 8:50 PM

Blogger R.Nav said...


Look again at the scene where Reed is drilling into the Mighty Clor's head!

Check it out, it starts off and his eyes are closed and his lips are frowning. Then *Bam!* closeup and his eyes are open.. and is that a smirk? He's drinning at Spider-Man. That's some creepy shit.

9/22/2006 9:24 PM

Blogger R.Nav said...

Er.. GRINNING. He's GRINNING at Spider-Man

or.. it's inconsistant art.

9/22/2006 9:25 PM

Blogger Chris Sims said...

TomTheDog: The only one I can really get behind is the person that I assume is Taskmaster, except that I think McNiven's trying to draw him like Dave Finch does. And that's not how he's supposed to look; Dave Finch just isn't very good.

Matt: Sage words.

R. Nav: Was he grinning? I took it as more of a blank, glassy stare common among mindwiped murderclones.

Incidentally, my new band, the Mindwiped Murderclones, will be putting out our first CD this fall...

9/22/2006 9:35 PM

Anonymous Mark Engblom said...


Great reviews, as always. That's one heck of a comics stack, too....is that an average haul for you, or is this, as they say, a "big week"?

Couldn't agree more with all the Civil War #4 talk, and that's the only issue I bothered to pick up (being a long-time Thor fan, I couldn't resist. I should have). What really strikes me about Civil War and the direction of much of the Marvel U these days is the feeling that the whole foundation has shifted pretty dramatically....and not in a good way. There's a cynicism and thuggishness about the whole place these days that goes beyond Marvel's traditional edginess and eccentricities. I get the feeling sometimes letting so many of these "too clever by half" writers have full run of the place might be getting to the "biting us in the ass" stage, and soon we'll be painted into a corner we can't really get out of, with blown secret identities, backstabbing bastards as "superheroes" and Goblin-impregnated Gwens littering the landscape. This current crop of writers really plays it for keeps, and I'm not sure I'm too happy with any of it.

Could be why Marvel seldom shows up on my buy list.

9/22/2006 10:41 PM

Anonymous timmdrums said...

Thanks for once again convincing me that Marvel's companywide events are only designed to sell toys and animated movies. At least Identity Crisis had something to say (I will admit that Infinite Crisis seemed like a blatant attempt to launch new books.)
But NextWave? Hell Yes! And while you didn't like this week's 52 much, Starfire's hot. Damn.

9/22/2006 10:42 PM

Blogger Chris Sims said...

Mark Engblom: This is actually a pretty standard week for me; I usually get around twenty comics a week. It's gone up recently, though, since after One Year Later, I was getting almost everything DC published--that's when I jumped back on titles like Catwoman and Firestorm, along with all the new books.

Plus, around the same time, I jumped on most of the Archie titles, although I don't usually list them here.

9/22/2006 11:55 PM

Blogger Filthy McMonkey said...

Are you freakin' kidding, Sims?

Archie? There's no face-kicking in Archie! What the hell?

I am now teetering on the brink. All I have ever believed is now suspect.

9/23/2006 9:15 AM

Anonymous Mark Engblom said...

Hey, everyone's got a guilty pleasure in their comics collecting...sorta the equivalent of the random Barry Manilow or Michael Bolton CD in a music collection (NOT MINE!). Chris is just up-front about his guilty pleasure. Plus, that post with all those great shots of Batman mopping the floor with criminal face has gotta count for something.

9/23/2006 10:54 AM

Blogger Chris Sims said...

Oh, you don't think there's any two-fisted action in Archie? Is that what you're saying?

I beg to differ.


9/23/2006 11:10 AM

Blogger notintheface said...

Some points about CIVIL WAR (spoilers):

1. They killed Black Goliath!

2. The funeral scene. Let me get this straight: The pro-registration forces couldn't manage to shrink poor Bill Foster down to normal size FOR HIS OWN FUNERAL? A team that includes HENRY FUCKING PYM and REED "I OWN A TIME-SHARE IN THE MICROVERSE" RICHARDS couldn't find a way to shrink this poor guy down to normal?

3. Clones in comics are ALWAYS bad news, Chris? What about the guy who just kicked it in INFINITE CRISIS? I think the standard rule on comic book clones should be:

"If it ain't from Cadmus, it's crap!"

9/23/2006 8:43 PM

Blogger notintheface said...

Also, what the hell were the chains for? It's not like he was going to try to escape!

9/23/2006 10:50 PM

Blogger Chris Sims said...

Yeah, the fact that that's a book where Hank Pym can't shrink someone down just about says it all, I think.

9/23/2006 11:01 PM

Blogger Earth-2 Leigh said...

Strong Guy's hair? Brilliant.

9/23/2006 11:41 PM

Blogger Filthy McMonkey said...

Alright. I may, MAY mind you, concede the point on Archie, if indeed looking for (not so) deftly hidden subtext is your thing.

On another note, I too was very wary when I read Checkmate #6. Rick Flagg's death was my favorite comics death of all times (or at least in the top 3). I agree that his ending was just the right kind of closure the character needed, and am not sure what there is to be said about him now. But, as you say, Rucka can generally be trusted, and I'll read damn near anything with the Suicide Squad in it(up to and including Suicide Squad: Mission Riverdale), so we'll see what happens.

9/24/2006 12:30 PM

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