Return of the Queer
So we're standing in the Art Bar waiting for the band to come on and all the TVs suddenly cut to static. "Hey," I said to Tug, "the TVs all went out."
"Yeah. It's because Jesus just came back. And here we are."
"You might me right," I said. "It's not like we'd even notice in here. We're in a room full of people waiting to see a band called Confederate Fagg."
That's right, kids, it was the one-night-only special reunion of the South's number one all-gay metal band. And man, did they rock. It was insane in there. I got hit in the face with a cardboard cutout of Wee Man, various stuffed animals (and their stuffing), bubbles, beer, and a drunk guy's elbow. But what hit me hardest was a shot of warm, salty, milky-white glob of rock and roll right in the eye.
Metaphors, ladies and gentlemen. It's why I get the big bucks.
Anyway, the show was incredible. Let's go down the Art Bar checklist to see just how awesome it was:
Man. Perfect score so far. But what really put the show over the top was that they actually played Freebird. We were shocked. Tug put it the best after the show: "They actually played it. Like it was a real song!" I'll be honest, it's the first time I've ever actually enjoyed that one.
So yeah, all in all a pretty awesome rock show. And it gave me the opportunity to use the phrase "a cross between Hermione and Kit Fisto," and how often does THAT fall in your lap?