Suffering Sappho!

NOTICE: On Monday (or maybe sooner, but I've got something in mind), I'm going to be switching the web address of the ISB over to, hopefully, http://isb.blogspot.com assuming it's still available. So be advised.

Today I went up to Rock Hill to see my pal Brandon with Billy and the Brothers Nacovitch. It was a lot of fun, and I decided to celebrate the occasion by getting, for the second time in my life, drunk. Fortunately, that doesn't take much, and after two shots of whiskey, a Long Island Iced Tea, and the best damn White Russian I've ever had, I was pretty well gone for the rest of the night.

So we ended up back at Brandon's dorm room and for some reason or another (probably me saying I wanted something else to drink) he wandered across the hall to a room where five lesbians were playing cards. Needless to say, I followed, stumbling after.

Those poor, poor girls. I'm thinking my presence pretty much confirmed that they were on the right track with the whole "no dudes" thing. I'm boisterous and loud while I'm sober, and when I get drunk I just get nonsensical. I can only imagine that two weeks from now, they'll be sitting around again having a conversation like this:

"Hey, you guys remember that night Brandon's friends came up here and he brought that fat white guy in here? He was ridiculous!"

"Yeah, what was up with that guy? First he makes us explain that insanely complicated card game we like--as if having eight different decks is something weird--and then he starts talking about how Maroon 5 sucks and goes off on this rant about Straight Outta Compton."

"Oh my God, I forgot that part!" (here, she affects a slurred barely post-Cro-magnon voice) "Durr, it's da best rap album ever! It's got Gangsta Gangsta on it!"

(Laughter)

"And I'm not even getting into the part where he started yelling about the Wu-Tang Clan. What was that thing he said about flowing like Christ when he speaks the gospel?"

"Seriously, I think he had some kind of fixation on black culture. Remember that little history lesson he gave on Shaka Zulu? And that other guy... I can't remember, he was into the vodka by that point."

"Yeah, I distinctly remember him somehow working Aquaman into a conversation about African kings."

"Yeah, well you guys weren't even in the room when he started talking about Public Radio! It was CRAZY! He went on and on about this one show, and then started talking about this crazy Christian show he listens to that doesn't make any sense! He said something about an ice cream shop, the CIA, and the holodeck before I got out of there."

Yeah, it was a good time. Me being drunk... it's the stuff of legends.