Amaze Your Friends! Terrify Your Enemies!
In addition to stories about Superman throwing shirtless men around and hiding under your bed, DC's recent Superman Chronicles also features a three-part series that ran in the original books on how to acquire Clark Kent's fantastic super-powers for yourself.
So tonight, as a public service to the readers of the ISB, I bring you this triptych, in the knowledge that you will use your new-found superpowers for awesome. They may seem a little odd, but once you realize that they were probably written by Jerry Siegel, the man responsible for Matter-Eater Lad and last night's other shenanigans, that's to be expected.
Seriously? If making a fist and jerking it back and forth gave you super-strength, I'd be the frigg'n Hulk by now.
WARNING: Attempting to develop your X-Ray Vision Power using a telephone pole and a pencil may result in rapid and grotesque hair loss.
5 Comments:
There's something like that in the second GA Flash archives for speed.
2/27/2006 1:47 AM
For super strength, what you really need is a calf.
You know, you get a calf, and every day, you go out and lift it, and soon enough you'll be lifting a full-grown bull! With your bare hands!
Or so the story goes...
2/27/2006 12:17 PM
C'mon. If you want super strength, everyone knows you just have to gamble a stamp, kick a chair and "LATER", be the Hero of the Beach. Sheesh.
2/28/2006 12:08 PM
"Seriously? If making a fist and jerking it back and forth gave you super-strength, I'd be the frigg'n Hulk by now."
But that is counterproductive to "acquiring super-vision."
2/28/2006 12:30 PM
Well-played, sir. Well-played.
2/28/2006 9:05 PM
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