Amaze Your Friends! Terrify Your Enemies!
In addition to stories about Superman throwing shirtless men around and hiding under your bed, DC's recent Superman Chronicles also features a three-part series that ran in the original books on how to acquire Clark Kent's fantastic super-powers for yourself.
So tonight, as a public service to the readers of the ISB, I bring you this triptych, in the knowledge that you will use your new-found superpowers for awesome. They may seem a little odd, but once you realize that they were probably written by Jerry Siegel, the man responsible for Matter-Eater Lad and last night's other shenanigans, that's to be expected.
Seriously? If making a fist and jerking it back and forth gave you super-strength, I'd be the frigg'n Hulk by now.
WARNING: Attempting to develop your X-Ray Vision Power using a telephone pole and a pencil may result in rapid and grotesque hair loss.