The Week In Ink, 2-22-06

The next time someone calls the store and insists that "a collector" would be interested in a beat-up copy of Venom: Lethal Protector they found whilst tearing down a house, this is what I'm going to say:

I imagine it'll be quite liberating.

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Comics

All-New Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe #2: Dear Marvel: In the future, if you're going to put out a handbook and you have a character that used to be on X-Force but is now in Nextwave, try to use the beautiful Stuart Immonen art you have for the profile. I mean, I realize it's just frigg'n Boom-Boom, but still.

Astonishing X-Men #13: You know, it's weird. I never even thought I'd want to see a comic book where Wolverine fights a roomful of children in the dark, but now that I have, I never want to read a comic without it again.

Captain America #15: Don't get me wrong: I like this book an awful lot, but to call it the Best Series of 2005 seems like just another stunning example of the pure insanity that flows like wine from the pages of Wizard magazine. Especially with how long it took the Winter Soldier story to wrap up. So let's see what 2005's best comic has to offer this week. Ah, a hot teenage girl getting slapped around by a guy in a skull mask. Delightful! (No, seriously, it really is a pretty good issue.)

Invincible Script Book #1: I've got a soft spot for comic book scripts, although I'm reasonably certain that the only scriptbook I've made it all the way through was the one for the first six issues of Greg Rucka's Queen & Country. Still, I find them pretty fascinating, and getting the scripts to the first six issues of Invincible for four bucks is not the sort of offer I'm willing to pass up. Plus, it's always nice to go through and find out which writers mix up words like "bawling" and "balling," which--in the proper context--can be hilarious.

JLA Classified #17

Legion of Super-Heroes #15: I'm always a little wary when it comes to a fill-in issue, but even beyond the fact that this one has Tyroc And His Thighs right there on the cover, this issue also features Karate Kid fighting Super-Gorilla Grodd, which means it's more awesome than 90% of the things in the known universe. Plus, that letter column's great.

Mouse Guard #1: Being as I'm not exactly a fan of your Brian Jacques and the like, I initially passed this one up when I saw it in Previews. That was, of course, before the entire Comics Blogger Internet stood up as one being and flipped out about it, so I figured it might be a good idea of I got it, just to keep up. I'm very glad I did, since it turned out to be every bit as good as everyone was hoping. It's a little light on story and it reads quick, but it's utterly charming and highly enjoyable, with absolutely gorgeous art.

Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane #3: I haven't kept my love of this series a secret by any stretch of the imagination, but when Chad asked me just what about it I liked so much, I found I couldn't exactly put it into words. Between that and my all-consuming obsession with Degrassi, I'm willing to entertain the possibility that I may actually be a teenage girl.

The Thing #4

Wonder Woman #226: I like the Greg Rucka Wonder Woman run a heck of a lot, but I'm not exactly sure why they didn't just go ahead and end this book last month. It would've been a nice round number at 225 and it certainly read like a last issue, but instead we have this, a wholly unnecessary story about how Superman and Wonder Woman are pals with a suspicious amount of references to this classic of Western Literature:

That story, incidentally, features Clara Kent and her coworkers Jenny Olsen and Louis Lane, and is utterly beautiful in every way. Especially the way that they just went ahead and put Wonder Woman's costume on a guy and then decided "No, you know what? That's a little too gay. Better color in the legs." And yet they left the male Black Canary's outfit alone...

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Trades

Superman Chronicles v.1: I really like the idea of DC's line of "Chronicles" trades in theory, but it seems to fall apart in practice. The whole point of it, after all, is to get--just like it says on the cover--every Superman story in exact chronological order on the cheap, which would be a great idea if they were actually going to do it. The first volume of the Batman Chronicles came out last year and unless I've completely missed it, Volume 2 has yet to be even solicited. It's worth picking up though, as it will teach you the valuable lesson that Golden Age Superman Does Not Fuck Around. I mean, there's a panel in here where he gives some ne'er-do-wells, and I quote, "the thrashing of their lives" before they "flee from the man of steel's fury." That's gold.

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Media

Ultimate Avengers DVD: I watched this last night, and to say the least, it could've been a lot better. The actual fight with the Hulk at the end is pretty awesome when they finally get to it, and any scene with Thor is well worth it, but the rest of the movie just felt like they took out everything edgy and cool from Mark Millar's original scripts and turned it into a pretty decent episode of GI Joe, complete with standard-issue Cobra laser cannons. It's no Justice League. Still, if this is what it takes to get a direct-to-video animated movie where Spider-Man fights Swarm for an hour, I would buy a thousand.