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Sunday, March 05, 2006

Hey, Aren't You Bruce Wayne?

A hero's secret identity--at least, according to The Incredibles--is his most valuable possession. So it's really no wonder that the histronic crises that the DC Universe finds itself embroiled in at the moment can all be traced back to super-heroes being a little too cavalier with their most precious secrets.

But really, you can't blame them for being a little loose-lipped around the Atom's ex-wife (apparently keeping her on the mailing list so she'd know about stuff like Tim Drake), what with the poor example being set by the elder statesmen of the Super-Heroing community. Take Batman for example. He's probably the smartest super-hero in the world and has nigh-limitless resources to keep his dual-life secret, and yet even the frigg'n Riddler knows who he is. And it's entirely his own fault.

Just look at how he deals with the Outsiders, a bunch of people that he literally just met. He's taking them back to Gotham City after helping Geo-Force put down a little rebellion in Markovia, but he doesn't want them to know he's Bruce Wayne yet. So, minus the punchout with dissatisfied Vietnam vet "Agent Orange," here's how it goes down:

"Wayne Manor, huh? And you live here?"


"And Wayne pays for everything?"

"He does."

"Batman, are you Bruce Wayne?"


"Hey, that's Alfred, Bruce Wayne's butler!"


"And he's serving you breakfast?"

"Bacon and eggs. My favorite."

"And Bruce Wayne isn't at home right now?"

"He certainly isn't, Master Black Lighting."

"Batman, you're totally Bruce Wayne."

"No, I'm not. Now excuse me, I'm going to go... do... something. And then Bruce Wayne's going to take Halo shopping."


Yes, despite the fact that Bruce Wayne then rides around in a car with Halo for the afternoon, buying her pretty hats and talking about fighting crime before Batman shows her to her new digs in Bruce Wayne's old penthouse apartment that also connects to a Batcave below the city, they suspect nothing.

And yet he calls Katana out on her secret identity...
...which he deduced from a cursory glance at her sword.

Clearly, the man is brilliant. And yet he's always surprised when he comes home to find world-conquering arch-villains with hot daughters kicking back in his chair. Go figure.


Blogger Ragnell said...

5 point Flaw -- Selective Perception.

Which is how Batman got the points to buy such a high Deductive Reasoning Ability.

It's a wierd combination.

3/06/2006 1:03 AM

Blogger Diamondrock said...

I love those old Outsiders comics. You've got Batman, arguably one of the coolest and most popular superheroes in the DCU hanging out with a bunch of misfits, losers, and also-rans. It's fantastic.

3/06/2006 8:25 AM

Blogger CalvinPitt said...

The Outsiders were a case of Batman's incredible brain relaizing the advantage in keeping several D-list heroes around to shield him from any Superboy-Prime like threats.

3/06/2006 1:46 PM

Blogger Derek B. Haas said...

Isn't Selective Perception a third-rank Stalwart Knack?

I have no nerd-shame.

3/06/2006 3:48 PM


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