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Sunday, January 07, 2007

Awesomeversary Special: MAN VS. BEAST!

Before we get started tonight, please download this song. Allow it to set the mood, and feel free to listen as you read the following, but if you get to the one minute mark, please pause the file, and resume when the pictures start. It's worth it.

Yesterday marked the Invincible Super-Blog's second anniversary, and if there's one thing that I learned from the past year, it's that people don't just like the same comics that I do, they actually like the way I write about them. Some of them--like the fine folks at Prism--like it enough that they've asked me to write things for them, like the new article on the All-Transvestite Riverdale Jitterbug Contest that went up last week, and some of them even like me enough to pay me.

Clearly, this can mean only one thing: I am awesome.

And why? Because for seven hundred thirty one days, I have made it my mission to bring you things like tonight's post, which will be devoted solely to (and this is where you need to hit play)...


Holy crap, did you see that?!


And finally, the crowning centerpiece of my collection...

And that, for the record, is how I roll. Welcome to Year 3, suckers.

BONUS FEATURE: Sometimes The Animals Fight Back

And as I'm sure Kevin will tell you, it's about damn time.


Blogger Kevin Church said...

It's good to see an ape get the treatment they deserve instead of being vilified by thoughtless writers.

1/08/2007 12:46 AM

Anonymous Disco Stu said...

long time reader, first time poster Chris.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Talk about going the extra mile for the readers. I know you've done it a few times before, but that soundtrack was awesome. Bring on Year 3!

1/08/2007 1:20 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did Batman just TASER an eagle? I think its time we cut the shit and made HIM our national symbol.

All rise...


1/08/2007 2:06 AM

Blogger Michael said...

You should link back to your post of the Legion of Super-Heroes getting pwn3d by the Super-Pets.

1/08/2007 2:14 AM

Blogger Brett said...

I suspect that PETA has a special Batman Hall Of Shame in their HQ. Not that I think that is a bad thing really...

1/08/2007 6:17 AM

Blogger Nimbus said...

I few things came to mind whilst looking at these images (and listening to the rousing music).

1) In the second image it looks like ol' Ben Grimm is punching his own arm.
2) Zombie dolphin? Awesome!
3) If that's Bambi that the Hulk is hitting, then he's grown somewhat.
4) The Hercules-attacking Cerebus appears to have only one head not three!
5) Conan didn't headlock a freakin' bear. He was nowhere near the head.
6) Li'l Batboy kicks a bear in the nadgers! Ouch.
7) ...and then takes out two eagles, both symbols of North America.

Yep, Batman - the hit-below-the-belt, endangered-animal-killing hero - sounds just like the sort of thing America should have as it's national symbol!

Come On!

1/08/2007 7:44 AM

Anonymous jacob munford said...

My god, by the size of that action sparkle Ben Grimm utterly destroyed that big cat.

1/08/2007 9:04 AM

Blogger PMMJ said...

ZOMG Awesomeversary! Thanks for the years of fun, and many happy returns.

And while I'm pleased to see a panel from the Hitman Aquarium spectacular made it in, I'm a little disappointed you didn't find a way to work in Hitman clubbing a baby seal. Because that may be one of the finest moments in comic book history.

1/08/2007 9:11 AM

Blogger Jeff said...

this was like a religious experience. Except more awesome.

1/08/2007 10:01 AM

Blogger SallyP said...

Aahhhh..."Zombie night at the Gotham Aquarium". Best Hitman book ever! Heh.

Oh, and Batman really seems to enjoy pummelling animals. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, that man needs some SERIOUS therapy.

And thank you for the Riverdale Jitterbug contest. As always, Reggie IS the ginchiest.

1/08/2007 10:37 AM

Blogger gorjus said...

He was comicdom's finest writer.

Hero v. animal humor second-to-none.

He wielded language like a cudgel . . . but at what price?



1/08/2007 10:52 AM

Blogger tomthedog said...

I know it's already in your header, but how could you not have given us more of the senses-shattering awesomeness of the Punisher cold-cocking a polar bear??

1/08/2007 11:56 AM

Anonymous hydrogenguy said...

Holy crap, that Gorilla is going totally OMAC on those Nazis!

And I think that may be the best sentence I ever typed!

1/08/2007 2:00 PM

Blogger Jeff Rients said...

Excerpts from The American Heritage Dictionary of Comic Book Sound Effects:

sploom! - The sound of an admantium shield striking a shark while both are underwater.

wok! - The effect produced by chin-checking a tiger.

spang! - Produced when a god socks a mythological canine in the chops.

zong! - a canine snout-jab.

thak - the sound of a roundhouse blow delivered to the head of a wolf.

1/08/2007 2:09 PM

Anonymous the dark knight said...

Every one of your future posts should be choreographed. And some of the "Best Of"s.
For example: "Infinite Crisis in Thrity Seconds" set to "Theme Song from Rugrats".

1/08/2007 5:41 PM

Anonymous the president of peta said...

Posting pictures of animals getting mauled is NOT COOL! You should be ashamed of yourself. Burn in hell Christopher J. Simms!!!!!!!!!!!

1/08/2007 5:43 PM

Blogger jonni said...




with a Capital K!

I think my head just a'sploded...

1/08/2007 6:50 PM

Blogger Brandon said...

Too...much...awesomeness...must watch...reruns of 90210 to...balance things...out...

(faints from the dangerously high awesomeness levels)

1/08/2007 7:35 PM

Blogger Richelle said...

Oh man...when Caitlin wrote and said the third picture would make me die laughing, I thought she was exaggerating. She wasn't. I mean, I am still alive, but I do have an EMT standing by. It's kind of touch and go.

1/08/2007 7:42 PM

Blogger Mike Haseloff said...

Terrorists get all the press.

The real radicals to feel are the animals who have grown tired of their pampered lifestyles of minor celebrity in locals zoos and subway stations.

The animals are striking back, and this time... it's personable.

Awwwww, they cutey-wootie doggy thinks he's a ninja! Yes he does! Yes he does!

1/08/2007 9:32 PM

Blogger Sleestak said...

Dude! You forgot the Black Condor and the raccoon SNAP.

1/08/2007 9:53 PM

Anonymous Moodring54 said...

Wow. The music and my reading were perfectly in sync. It was almost... divine.

1/10/2007 5:43 AM

Anonymous carla said...

That.... that makes me proud to read this blog.
God Bless You, Sir.

1/12/2007 12:10 AM


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