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Saturday, March 31, 2007

Friday Night Fights: A Monster Unleashed!

Before I get to the violence that has been mandated by decree of Bahlactus, allow me to pose a question to you, gentle reader.

What is the most exciting phrase you can possibly imagine seeing in a comic book?

Take a moment to think about that, because there are certainly a lot of viable options here. "By Bob Haney and Jim Aparo," for instance, almost guarantees twenty-two pages of awesome whenever it shows up, and when Jack Kirby's promising you "a conflict that dwarfs the infinite," it's pretty safe to say that you're in for a good time.

When you get right down to it though, has there ever really been a match for "NAZI FRANKENSTEIN?!"

Yes, rising from the grave to terrorize the pages of Invaders #31, it's this week's FNF contender, the Fascist Flesh Golem as only Mighty Marvel could bring it, courtesy of Don Glut and Chic Stone in a titanic tale they just had to call..

I think that's quite enough alliteration for one night, don't you?

Anyway, there's the merest hint of a story attatched to this thing, but when you're working with an idea like NAZI FRANKENSTEIN, all you really need to know for the story is contained in those two simple words. Suffice to say that the Captain America and Bucky hear about a mysterious Nazi plot centering around a small Bavarian village (complete with its own castle, of course) that the Human Torch and Toro went to investigate and never returned, they decide to check it out.

The castle, of course, is Castle Frankenstein, the site of all the standard old legends, which--as tends to happen with these things--turn out to be one hundred percent true. Result?

Nazi Frankenstein drops a stiff-arm the likes of which have never been seen on Captain America, at the behest of his creator, the wheelchair bound Dr. Basil Frankenstein. Basil is, of course, a Nazi, and has not only furthered his ancestor's research into re-animating corpses, but has also concocted a plan to kill Cap and transplant his own brain into Steve Rogers' body so that he can better love his lady.

No, really.

Needless to say, it doesn't quite pan out for ol' Basil, and the Monster is revealed to be a mere pawn in Basil's evil scheme, a gentle soul that never wanted to obey his master's fascistic commands in the first place, which prompts the Human torch to try to capture him without actually hurting him.

And then Namor shows up and punches the living crap out of him anyway, because hey: Nazi Frankenstein.

And that is just how the Avenging Son rolls. Booyakasha!


Blogger LurkerWithout said...

Well its no Bigby vs. Frankenstein Monster Fake Fight, but not too shabby...

And I think there is an older issue of Wetworks where His Monsterness dukes it out with vampires...

Oh and the webcomic Breakfast of the Gods has Frankenberry squashing that bee that shills for Honeynut Cheerios...

3/31/2007 5:52 AM

Anonymous Fiendenstein said...

The Essential Frankenstein never had this guy in it, just some sweet 70's fashions and a lot of punching, have you read that Chris, if not, you should.... it's badass?

Also, I personally believe we don't see enough Imperius Rex and or Giant Crabs here on the ISB. I'm just saying...

3/31/2007 10:15 AM

Blogger Jeff Rients said...

With a title a Nazi Frankenstein on the field I thought I knew exactly how this was going to go down. But then you hit me with "a plan to kill Cap and transplant his own brain into Steve Rogers' body so that he can better love his lady." Yowza.

3/31/2007 10:19 AM

Blogger Philip Looney said...

I didn't knwo I was going to get an Ice Cube reference t Nazi Frankenstein this morning. Thanks Chris!

3/31/2007 10:42 AM

Anonymous xrundog said...

If I saw "Nazi Frankenstein" anyplace else, I'd say it's a stupid idea. But in a comic book, it is classic!

3/31/2007 11:02 AM

Blogger Matthew said...

this comic is awful. It has a fantastic cover, but nothing inside lives up to it.

3/31/2007 11:47 AM

Blogger Caleb said...

Woah, he slapped down Cap and Namor! He didn't even need to make a fist!

3/31/2007 12:08 PM

Anonymous Allen said...

Is there anything that makes cheesy 70's dialogue easier to swallow than Tom Orzechowski's lettering? I think not.

3/31/2007 12:30 PM

Anonymous Manly Ripsnort said...

Still not up to Grant Morrison's Frankenstein

3/31/2007 1:52 PM

Blogger Captain Infinity said...

The only thing that could top Nazi Frankenstein would be Zombie Hitler.

3/31/2007 4:08 PM

Blogger LurkerWithout said...

Zombie Hitler pales besides BrainiApe, the irradiated psychic brain of Hitler in the body of a gorilla. And then later it was made into a ROBOT gorilla. Thats taking everything awesome about Nazi Frankenstein and turning the dial up to 11...

3/31/2007 9:13 PM

Anonymous Josh said...

Not quite what you asked, but the most exciting phrase I have seen in a comic might well be,


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